Feb 19, 2007 16:30
i have a feeling im going to be one of those people that end up reading to children and having to pass out candy to them.
kid: Hey mister, what's in the bag?"
me: Its candy, the school paid for it.
Kid: what else is in it?
Me: nothing else, just that, candy.
Kid: are you sure? my mother says candy is made by the devil and gay people.
Me: well im sure your mother would no alot about the devil billy, considering she fucks him every sunday.
OR.
some whiney kid will annoy me and tell me what a failure i am b/c that's what we are teaching kids today and im going to snap.
Kid: your ugly and fat.
Me: johnny, that's not very nice.
Kid: i hate you. im going to laugh when you die.
Me: Johnny, that's not called for.
Kid: my mommy says that im super good and smart and nice.
Me: are you sure about that?
Kid: YEAH! and im hungry. i want some food! what does my mommy pay you for anyway nigger.
Me: well johnny, i've got something for you.
Kid: [excited] what is it?"
Me: Come really close and i'll show you.
the kid will get really close to me and then..
SLAP!
Kid: OUCH!! what'd you do that for?!
Me: oh, im sorry johnny, i thought you said you were hungry. i was just giving you a nice warm helping of go fuck yourself, you didn't like it?