cunt.
the snow on the grounds makes today feel like a holiday
too bad it's not.
i'm not even in much of a holiday spirited mood anymore.
too much has happened to shoot down my excitement.
& don't get me wrong, i love me some christmas.
& it's not like it's changing my love for christmas, just this year's excitement.
i don't mean to complain
but my job sucks.
my dad's an asshole.
& my natural as well as step mother are not far behind.
too many wrecks. fender bender or not.
i get mad too easily
i take things for granted
i hate being jealous
i hate feeling superior
i hate not being 18 yet
i wish i were stronger
i wish i weren't failing two classes a week before end of semester
i wish i could drive
i wish someone would tell me im dreaming
i wish i could have what i really want for christmas
[yeah call me selfish, but im not alone on that one]
selfish...i wish i weren't so selfish.
but on the brighter side of things.
i love anticipating his phone calls every night
i love the way he wraps his arms around me
i love his kisses
i love the feeling of security he gives me.
i love the way our hands fit together.
i love his smile
i love his eyes
i love everything about him.
he's amazing
he's beautiful
he's mine
& i've never been so happy before in my life.
i love him.