Right.
Dear you,
Its 30 minutes past my last journal entry..I cannot sleep. Maybe I just think to much, I don't know. There is no doubt that I do think, though. My eldest cousin, Dustyn, is having his first child born today..Well, its most likely already been born. I have no confirmation on that yet. He came by earlier this afternoon, proclaiming how happy he was that he was going to have a son..And that it was a 99 percent possibility that it could be his. That made me snarl. How could people just go about having sex..And actually feel bad when they knock some hopeless girl up, as they don't even know who its for yet..People confuse me. Anywho. Alana is 9 months pregnant, as the baby was due 3 days ago. They've waited, waited, waited, and waited..No child. Finally, the family has decided to induce the labor..Induce. Such a frightening word at this time. They induced her at 4 this afternoon, as my cousin was a nervous wreck..I've never seen him this nervous. He's jittery, which I suppose is normal..I'd like to be in his shoes to just feel for a nanosecond of how much emotion is running through him..Its a pity. Although, i'm glad..Because I know in my heart that when he will hold his child for the very first time, and recognize that it wasn't a dream, he will drop every ounce of nervousness..Sadness..And just be caught up into his child..His son. Its amazing how things work like that. Well, onto something a little more personal. I've not heard from Chantel in about 3 days now. Well, make that 2. She called me at around 4 oclock 2 days prior from now, and we talked a bit.
..Lloyd..
Lloyd makes my ass twitch..In the nicest way possible..Eh. He told Chantel that he was going to look at guns..A gun. A piece of cold steel. An inanimate object. He went there to visit her, not to polish steel..He pisses me off. But, in a non-violent way. I have respect for the guy, for the way that she loves him. And she really does. She called me from the lobby, and we talked a while..30 minutes went by..An hour, then..No sign of Lloyd. He couldn't have forgotten about her, could he? That would have been really bad. I know how much she feels for him, and she knows how much I feel for her..I just don't want to see her get hurt. We then hung up, and I havent heard from her since..She spoke about her good friend Gary (I think that was the mans name?..) coming to see her, but I wasn't quite clear on the subject at-hand. I miss her. I miss her voice. Her laugh, oh my God, her laugh. She's my inspiration. Without her, I am scum. Scum under the shoes of todays society. She is my life, and my happiness..Things which I never want to leave. Ever. I just hope everything goes okay.
For now,
Matthew.
Its 30 minutes past my last journal entry..I cannot sleep. Maybe I just think to much, I don't know. There is no doubt that I do think, though. My eldest cousin, Dustyn, is having his first child born today..Well, its most likely already been born. I have no confirmation on that yet. He came by earlier this afternoon, proclaiming how happy he was that he was going to have a son..And that it was a 99 percent possibility that it could be his. That made me snarl. How could people just go about having sex..And actually feel bad when they knock some hopeless girl up, as they don't even know who its for yet..People confuse me. Anywho. Alana is 9 months pregnant, as the baby was due 3 days ago. They've waited, waited, waited, and waited..No child. Finally, the family has decided to induce the labor..Induce. Such a frightening word at this time. They induced her at 4 this afternoon, as my cousin was a nervous wreck..I've never seen him this nervous. He's jittery, which I suppose is normal..I'd like to be in his shoes to just feel for a nanosecond of how much emotion is running through him..Its a pity. Although, i'm glad..Because I know in my heart that when he will hold his child for the very first time, and recognize that it wasn't a dream, he will drop every ounce of nervousness..Sadness..And just be caught up into his child..His son. Its amazing how things work like that. Well, onto something a little more personal. I've not heard from Chantel in about 3 days now. Well, make that 2. She called me at around 4 oclock 2 days prior from now, and we talked a bit.
..Lloyd..
Lloyd makes my ass twitch..In the nicest way possible..Eh. He told Chantel that he was going to look at guns..A gun. A piece of cold steel. An inanimate object. He went there to visit her, not to polish steel..He pisses me off. But, in a non-violent way. I have respect for the guy, for the way that she loves him. And she really does. She called me from the lobby, and we talked a while..30 minutes went by..An hour, then..No sign of Lloyd. He couldn't have forgotten about her, could he? That would have been really bad. I know how much she feels for him, and she knows how much I feel for her..I just don't want to see her get hurt. We then hung up, and I havent heard from her since..She spoke about her good friend Gary (I think that was the mans name?..) coming to see her, but I wasn't quite clear on the subject at-hand. I miss her. I miss her voice. Her laugh, oh my God, her laugh. She's my inspiration. Without her, I am scum. Scum under the shoes of todays society. She is my life, and my happiness..Things which I never want to leave. Ever. I just hope everything goes okay.
For now,
Matthew.