(no subject)
look how pretty she is when she falls down; and there's no beauty in bleeding mascara.
why am i pretending?
i feel so fucking low at the moment. it feels like no one wants me to be me and it hurts. i go on pretending just because i don't want to be called tragic. but tragic's a fucking understatement.
i know i put this whole I don't give a f.u.c.k what people say but deep down, every little thing eats away at me. so what if i really don't like myself . it's me i hate fuckers, not you.
i wish i'd never left tiffin. there. i said it. h-a-p-p-y now? KGS is the biggest shithole ever. i can't stand their self obsessed ignorant t w a t s. i hate it there. in fact, i more than hate it. i fucking DESPISE the place.
and friends. yeah i mean come on you're supposed to always have your friends to fall back on right? But right now it seems that i've become nothing to them, and they're just wrapped up in their own little world, of people who are alot better than me.
it seems i've lost everything. i m-i-s-s my tiffin friends. but they dont want me any more. i've fallen out with so many good friends, about such petty arguments. my family favour my sister so much more than me. and it hurts. bad.
so what if i am not pretty? so what if i'm not s k i n n y ? it doesn't mean that you have to remind me about it all the time. i do have a mirror.
so WHAT if i lie about where i go on thursday afternoons, and friday mornings? so fucking what if i listen to 'dirty emo music'. you're not listening to it, ARE YOU?
i'm starting to think that the world would be so much better without me. it's a fair idea really... considering the circumstances. i have no true real friends. whats the point?
Im fucking SICK and TIRED of pretending. i am who i a m . and you can never take that away from