everything you are i will betray

[_missme]

this is driving me insane. like if he doesn't want to hang out with me or whatever, i'm okay with that. but he shouldn't lead me the fuck on because that shit just pisses me off.
i mean fuck, johnny seems to give more of a shit about me than mike does sometimes and johnny is goddamn gay. i don't get this anymore.
i want to know where i stand.
i want to say fuck it and just call sara and go party with her for three hours or so before work. i want to not sit here and fucking wait for him to decide that i'm worth the time.

i have plans and fuck the world if you don't like them.
it might not be healthy; its all i have though.

i cannot wait goddamn forever for this boyyyyyy.
fucking asshole.
just when you think he fucking gets it, what does he do? fucks it all the fuck up.

things just can't go right can they? hells no.

fuckthisshit.
i'm gonna go the fuck to sleep and fuck him.
if i'm not worth it, then fuck him.
i should be goddamn important. i'm not. but i should be.
last week motherfucker could wake up&call me around 9. today it's fucking 1230 and just whatthefuckever.
i'm not worth it.
i'm not important.
i'm not anygoddamnthing.
i'm just me.
and that's not enough.

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk