Purpose.
I started this journal when I was 23 and I'll be 28 in 11 days. Yowza! Wonder how long I'll keep this going?
I want to post here often, but I think I just use up all my words when I'm working. It's kind of strange Some people dedicate their lives to a tangible talent-- music, dance, art... It's part of who they are. To some it's even their "calling."
This work is my calling. Not necessarily the job as a whole, but the work I do with clients. The positon I'm currently in utilizes the best of my personal talents, which I have finally embraced as sufficient. Even when I'm feeling annoyed, infuriated, or overwhelmed, I feel a sense of purpose; not only in my work, but in regards to my own family. This is what I'm supposed to be doing-- at least at this point in my life. It feels right, and I think I'm very good at it. Apparently, other people think so too. I've discovered that there is a reason I have more cases than anyone else in my unit. DHS workers, families, co-workers, and supervisors specifically request me. I have no problem boasting that I'm in high demand! It feels great, though that can deflate when the extra work load seems unfair at times. It's an endless education- no matter how "good" you are, you remain humbled by all that you realize you don't know, and constantly learning new things and being trained in new areas of need is incredibly stimulating.
It's not that my former job didn't provide that stimulation or pride-- it was just a struggle for various philosophical and personal reasons. The biggest difference is that I have more control in this position, and I can speak my mind without the repurcussions of personal politics. And that is so freeing. I love most of my clients. Many of them have touched me deeply, and so much that lied dormant within me has been brought to the surface. Wow, that sounded corny. But, yeah! :)
Of course, it could partly be age too. I'm telling you, these kids have re-started my biological clock. No kidding. I'm still in no hurry, but definitely more open.
So when I'm bitching about how burned out I am in a few months, I'll read over this again and see if it means anything.
xxx
I want to post here often, but I think I just use up all my words when I'm working. It's kind of strange Some people dedicate their lives to a tangible talent-- music, dance, art... It's part of who they are. To some it's even their "calling."
This work is my calling. Not necessarily the job as a whole, but the work I do with clients. The positon I'm currently in utilizes the best of my personal talents, which I have finally embraced as sufficient. Even when I'm feeling annoyed, infuriated, or overwhelmed, I feel a sense of purpose; not only in my work, but in regards to my own family. This is what I'm supposed to be doing-- at least at this point in my life. It feels right, and I think I'm very good at it. Apparently, other people think so too. I've discovered that there is a reason I have more cases than anyone else in my unit. DHS workers, families, co-workers, and supervisors specifically request me. I have no problem boasting that I'm in high demand! It feels great, though that can deflate when the extra work load seems unfair at times. It's an endless education- no matter how "good" you are, you remain humbled by all that you realize you don't know, and constantly learning new things and being trained in new areas of need is incredibly stimulating.
It's not that my former job didn't provide that stimulation or pride-- it was just a struggle for various philosophical and personal reasons. The biggest difference is that I have more control in this position, and I can speak my mind without the repurcussions of personal politics. And that is so freeing. I love most of my clients. Many of them have touched me deeply, and so much that lied dormant within me has been brought to the surface. Wow, that sounded corny. But, yeah! :)
Of course, it could partly be age too. I'm telling you, these kids have re-started my biological clock. No kidding. I'm still in no hurry, but definitely more open.
So when I'm bitching about how burned out I am in a few months, I'll read over this again and see if it means anything.
xxx