(no subject)
YEA, can we say emotional roller coaster?
Ugh. Spent the day hating the world. Bought a ticket to go home for the weekend to NYC, just to catch up with the family and the few people who I actually can call real friends. I just need to get away from LA for a while. Get away from the drama, start remembering who I am. Come back with a clear mind. Everything is just piling on top of everything else, and I just feel like one thing will go wrong and I'll explode.
I got to talk to Brad for a little bit today. I don't know if hearing his voice today was a good thing or a bad thing. It definitely made me miss him more. Ugh. 10 more days.
Had a little chat with the cast today.....tears were shed, feelings were let out in the open....everything just sucks so much with this group lately. Like Adam said...it used to be us against the world. Now it's us against each other. That kills me. Because it's true. We used to just...know we were there for each other. No questions asked, no hidden meanings. Just pure, unconditional love and support. God, I miss that. I'm at fault for it, just like the rest of us. We all had our own seperate lives, but we still had that bond...and now it's just fallen apart.
You guys- I love you so much. We've all been through so much together. And we ruined something that none of us can deny was once so special. We need to fix it. I could go off on a list for each and every one of you as to why you all mean so much to me, and over the next few days I'm going to make it a point to let each of you know just how much you mean to me. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've felt so empty lately, because something is just missing. You're all a part of me and who I am. Without any of you in my life, I'm not whole. Being the youngest member by far in the cast, I'm still learning who I am and what I want to be, and you're all helping me mold myself into that person. Without you, without your guidance, without your support, without your love, and without your friendship, I just don't know who I am.
So...Sami. Adam. Ben. Chris. Taylor. Rachel. Bret. You are my family. Families don't always get along, families aren't always perfect. But families are capable of holding so much unconditional love and support...we need to get this back, you guys. I'm lost without it.
Ugh. Spent the day hating the world. Bought a ticket to go home for the weekend to NYC, just to catch up with the family and the few people who I actually can call real friends. I just need to get away from LA for a while. Get away from the drama, start remembering who I am. Come back with a clear mind. Everything is just piling on top of everything else, and I just feel like one thing will go wrong and I'll explode.
I got to talk to Brad for a little bit today. I don't know if hearing his voice today was a good thing or a bad thing. It definitely made me miss him more. Ugh. 10 more days.
Had a little chat with the cast today.....tears were shed, feelings were let out in the open....everything just sucks so much with this group lately. Like Adam said...it used to be us against the world. Now it's us against each other. That kills me. Because it's true. We used to just...know we were there for each other. No questions asked, no hidden meanings. Just pure, unconditional love and support. God, I miss that. I'm at fault for it, just like the rest of us. We all had our own seperate lives, but we still had that bond...and now it's just fallen apart.
You guys- I love you so much. We've all been through so much together. And we ruined something that none of us can deny was once so special. We need to fix it. I could go off on a list for each and every one of you as to why you all mean so much to me, and over the next few days I'm going to make it a point to let each of you know just how much you mean to me. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've felt so empty lately, because something is just missing. You're all a part of me and who I am. Without any of you in my life, I'm not whole. Being the youngest member by far in the cast, I'm still learning who I am and what I want to be, and you're all helping me mold myself into that person. Without you, without your guidance, without your support, without your love, and without your friendship, I just don't know who I am.
So...Sami. Adam. Ben. Chris. Taylor. Rachel. Bret. You are my family. Families don't always get along, families aren't always perfect. But families are capable of holding so much unconditional love and support...we need to get this back, you guys. I'm lost without it.