FIGHT TIME!
So... today, I had an argument. Not necessarily a fight, but a really huge argument. If you don't already know, I have a brother named Will, and he's the most fucking annoying reject on the face of the earth. He's like 28 or something, and he still lives in the basement. He has no future. We don't get along too well, and me, being the misanthropist that I am, refuse to let my emotions out until they get all built up, and I erupt. So here's how (I can't remember the exact dialogue) our argument went.
Ashlee(My sister): *Jokingly* That's what wrong with kids today, they don't get enough ass kickings.
Will: I couldn't agree more.
Me: *Turns my head a slight bit and gives Ashlee this look that screams 'This motherfucker is an idiot'*
Ashlee: *Laughs*
Me: What's so funny?! *Chuckles* Did that idiot just say "I couldn't agree more"? *Mocks his voice.* I couldn't agree more....
Will: I don't know what you have against me, Erica... But you have problems. *Tries to turn up the volume to the t.v.*
Me: *Turns the t.v. off*
Will: *Turns the t.v. on.*
Me: *Turns the t.v. off* We can play this game all night. I don't care.
Will: I don't care either
Me: Good.
Ashlee: Oh God.
Will: Nah, Ashlee. I don't know what her problem is.
Me: You're my problem. You're so annoying.
Will: I didn't even say nothing to you.
Me: BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS AROUND. LOOKING AT YOUR FACE PISSES ME OFF!
Will: You've got problems. I avoid you at all costs and I still piss you off? I see I can get you mad really easy, chicken breasts.
Ashlee: Chicken breasts?
Me: *Getting pissed.* He's just mad because he likes chicken nuts. Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks.
Will: What the fuck is wrong with you? I used to change your diapers when you were little.
Me: I could give a shit if you changed my diapers when I was little. You could have wiped my ass when I was 10, I wouldn't care.
Will: You're going to need me again one day.
Me: *HAS A FIT OF LAUGHTER!* Holy shit. I'd die before I'd come to you for anything. If I was on fire, I wouldn't want you to piss on the god damn flames. I'd go to fucking Satan for help before I'd turn to you.
Will: I see what I'm going to have to do to you. I did the same thing to Salina, and to Ashlee. I'm going to have to do the same to you.
Me: *Knows he's talking about fighting.* Oh you want to fight me, motherfucker? *Severely pissed off.* I want you to touch me. I WANT you to fucking touch me. Hit me bitch. Fucking hit me, I want you to. Because the second you fucking do that, we'll have ourselves a fucking knife fight.
Will: *Stutters something that can't be understood by the human ear.*
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Touch me bitch. I want you to. I really fucking want you to hit me. This is the shit that I've been waiting for. I want a reason for me to slit your throat.
Will: By the time I'm through with you, you won't be able to..
Me: I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A FUCKING WEEK LATER, I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP WITH A KNIFE. TOUCH ME. FUCKING TAP ME ON THE SHOULDER. I want you to. I really fucking do.
Will: THEN WE'LL FUCKING FIGHT. DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE THIS? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO HER. SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HER.
Me: Shut the fuck up and FUCKING HIT ME! I want to fucking gut your ass like a fish. I'll fucking slice and dice you like your a fucking Perch.
-.o I'm sooooooooooooooooo pissed off.
Ashlee(My sister): *Jokingly* That's what wrong with kids today, they don't get enough ass kickings.
Will: I couldn't agree more.
Me: *Turns my head a slight bit and gives Ashlee this look that screams 'This motherfucker is an idiot'*
Ashlee: *Laughs*
Me: What's so funny?! *Chuckles* Did that idiot just say "I couldn't agree more"? *Mocks his voice.* I couldn't agree more....
Will: I don't know what you have against me, Erica... But you have problems. *Tries to turn up the volume to the t.v.*
Me: *Turns the t.v. off*
Will: *Turns the t.v. on.*
Me: *Turns the t.v. off* We can play this game all night. I don't care.
Will: I don't care either
Me: Good.
Ashlee: Oh God.
Will: Nah, Ashlee. I don't know what her problem is.
Me: You're my problem. You're so annoying.
Will: I didn't even say nothing to you.
Me: BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS AROUND. LOOKING AT YOUR FACE PISSES ME OFF!
Will: You've got problems. I avoid you at all costs and I still piss you off? I see I can get you mad really easy, chicken breasts.
Ashlee: Chicken breasts?
Me: *Getting pissed.* He's just mad because he likes chicken nuts. Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks.
Will: What the fuck is wrong with you? I used to change your diapers when you were little.
Me: I could give a shit if you changed my diapers when I was little. You could have wiped my ass when I was 10, I wouldn't care.
Will: You're going to need me again one day.
Me: *HAS A FIT OF LAUGHTER!* Holy shit. I'd die before I'd come to you for anything. If I was on fire, I wouldn't want you to piss on the god damn flames. I'd go to fucking Satan for help before I'd turn to you.
Will: I see what I'm going to have to do to you. I did the same thing to Salina, and to Ashlee. I'm going to have to do the same to you.
Me: *Knows he's talking about fighting.* Oh you want to fight me, motherfucker? *Severely pissed off.* I want you to touch me. I WANT you to fucking touch me. Hit me bitch. Fucking hit me, I want you to. Because the second you fucking do that, we'll have ourselves a fucking knife fight.
Will: *Stutters something that can't be understood by the human ear.*
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Touch me bitch. I want you to. I really fucking want you to hit me. This is the shit that I've been waiting for. I want a reason for me to slit your throat.
Will: By the time I'm through with you, you won't be able to..
Me: I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A FUCKING WEEK LATER, I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP WITH A KNIFE. TOUCH ME. FUCKING TAP ME ON THE SHOULDER. I want you to. I really fucking do.
Will: THEN WE'LL FUCKING FIGHT. DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE THIS? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO HER. SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HER.
Me: Shut the fuck up and FUCKING HIT ME! I want to fucking gut your ass like a fish. I'll fucking slice and dice you like your a fucking Perch.
-.o I'm sooooooooooooooooo pissed off.