Friends
So I'm just sitting here on the computer, talking to Shan on msn and being mad at Kris. Yeah I admit when I found out what happened I did cry a bit, but hardly. So I'm just thinking and I'm kind of sad, when I realize how much I miss Shan. And I don't mean like miss as in havent seen her for a while, I mean miss as in the way we used to be. Well I just started crying my eyes out which I'm doing now, and it just hits you so hard. I mean honestly, friends are the most important things in the world. And Shan honey, I wanted to tell you all about Kris so much but first there was the whole uncle thing and it seemed so stupid compared to what you've been through. I also just knew that you hated the idea, and if you were anyone else I'd be like whatever I'll tell her anyways. But your my best friend and I really care what you think. And it takes a lot for my to come and tell you things that are happening when I know that you really dont like the idea of it and all. Because I really do value your opinion and I don't want you thinking I'm some idiot who just gravitates in between these 2 guys, but lately I have been and I just hate myself for that. Seriously I just wish that I could be as strong as you are but I'm not. I know that I'm not and I don't want you to be disappointed in me when I make stupid decisions or let my feelings get the better of me and such. I'm dumb like that. I hope I can come over tonight so we can have a nice talk and most likely a cry as well. I love you more than anything, any guy, any friend at school, anything in the world. You mean the world to me and I want you to know that when something new comes up in my life, you're the first one I want to know, you're just not always because I am afraid of what you may think.