Colliding Stress
Took a good hour this morning but I, finally, am mostly caught up on commenting and flist posts. I somehow forgot to check Daily Deviant for the last week and am pleasantly surprised there are so many enticing looking fictions to catch up on... that's next!
I've been... a bit of a mess lately. Mostly emotionally. I had a good week where my muse was on fire and I was writing so much and very excited about it. And then the fears, doubts and anxieties sunk in. I guess I am still kind of a newbie, so it's all taking some time to sink in. I mean, I've been writing since I was a little girl, poetry and short stories, and from age 14-18 I wrote some pretty rough fanfiction for a bit. But I did take quite a hiatus and it's only been six months or so since I've really started to write again. It's kind of crazy, even if just in fandom and not Original Fiction, that we all just write from our hearts and put it out there for the world to see. It's scary but exhilarating. I suppose I am still adjusting.
So, yeah. I've been kind of struggling with some insecurities with that as well as some of the relationships in my life; online and IRL, and it's just been a bummer. I don't want to feel this way, I know I am being emotional and sensitive but I spent too many years of my life holding things in and back and it lead to a lot of mental and emotional breakdowns, epic panic attacks. Those past experiences have caused a change and now, for the past several years, I find I need to just being an open book and expressing myself openly. I don't know if it's the best way to always approach life but it's the only way I know how to get through.
Generally I've been able to maintain a mostly positive outlook on a day to day basis. I've been working out again and eating generally heathy so that's really helped me feel good overall. Work has been fine, busy but profitable so no complaints there. Wedding planning is mostly stress-free so once again pretty smooth on that front. If I can just reign in these recent flair ups of anxiety and self doubt I think things would be a lot better, but I'll take what I can get for now!
Hope you all have been doing well <3 Thanks for listening to me rant xx
I've been... a bit of a mess lately. Mostly emotionally. I had a good week where my muse was on fire and I was writing so much and very excited about it. And then the fears, doubts and anxieties sunk in. I guess I am still kind of a newbie, so it's all taking some time to sink in. I mean, I've been writing since I was a little girl, poetry and short stories, and from age 14-18 I wrote some pretty rough fanfiction for a bit. But I did take quite a hiatus and it's only been six months or so since I've really started to write again. It's kind of crazy, even if just in fandom and not Original Fiction, that we all just write from our hearts and put it out there for the world to see. It's scary but exhilarating. I suppose I am still adjusting.
So, yeah. I've been kind of struggling with some insecurities with that as well as some of the relationships in my life; online and IRL, and it's just been a bummer. I don't want to feel this way, I know I am being emotional and sensitive but I spent too many years of my life holding things in and back and it lead to a lot of mental and emotional breakdowns, epic panic attacks. Those past experiences have caused a change and now, for the past several years, I find I need to just being an open book and expressing myself openly. I don't know if it's the best way to always approach life but it's the only way I know how to get through.
Generally I've been able to maintain a mostly positive outlook on a day to day basis. I've been working out again and eating generally heathy so that's really helped me feel good overall. Work has been fine, busy but profitable so no complaints there. Wedding planning is mostly stress-free so once again pretty smooth on that front. If I can just reign in these recent flair ups of anxiety and self doubt I think things would be a lot better, but I'll take what I can get for now!
Hope you all have been doing well <3 Thanks for listening to me rant xx