writing as it comes to me.
ah, the lights of wal-mart as i always seem to be approaching them from the hours of 8-10 pm every friday. they're not comforting at all. i feel more imprisoned than happy to be home. home isn't a prison, but it's become one.
you make me feel like a woman. a real woman who is crazy, yet thoughtful, and beautiful and sexy and loved.
i miss you so fucking much. and i just want to have a couple of weeks where i can stay with you for however long i want with nothing holding me back at all. and i don't want panic attacks anymore.
i'm so sick of being sick - physically it's almost gone, but psychologically it never seems to go away. no matter how hard i try! it never leaves me the fuck alone!
i want summer to come, yet i don't because i feel like something is going to fall apart like it somehow always manages to in summer. i feel sooo alone because i get so happy with the beach and the sun and the hot wind and my hair is all free and i'm wearing next to nothing and i feel gone from everything, but i want you there because i don't feel all the way complete. i feel so sad.
and i'm scared again. i don't want to be scared anymore.
ok, so if you're unstable like me. don't see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind because it'll make you horribly depressed/happy.
i am crazy. please ignore this.
byes
-becky
you make me feel like a woman. a real woman who is crazy, yet thoughtful, and beautiful and sexy and loved.
i miss you so fucking much. and i just want to have a couple of weeks where i can stay with you for however long i want with nothing holding me back at all. and i don't want panic attacks anymore.
i'm so sick of being sick - physically it's almost gone, but psychologically it never seems to go away. no matter how hard i try! it never leaves me the fuck alone!
i want summer to come, yet i don't because i feel like something is going to fall apart like it somehow always manages to in summer. i feel sooo alone because i get so happy with the beach and the sun and the hot wind and my hair is all free and i'm wearing next to nothing and i feel gone from everything, but i want you there because i don't feel all the way complete. i feel so sad.
and i'm scared again. i don't want to be scared anymore.
ok, so if you're unstable like me. don't see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind because it'll make you horribly depressed/happy.
i am crazy. please ignore this.
byes
-becky