The almighty fishing weekend
This isn't necessarily a huge problem per se, but something I'm a bit miffed about, and I'm looking for opinions as to whether I'm being unreasonable.
My husband is an avid fisherman, and every year, he goes on several fishing trips with his buddy. There is one weekend in particular which seems to be the "sacred boys wekend", which falls on the May long weekend every year. This has been practically set in stone, and I've never had a problem with it, and it was never even a issue until last year. His friend moved away for a job and it looked like they weren't going to be getting together, so we went ahead and made a bunch of plans, only to have his friend call two nights before and say he would be in town. My husband totally dropped all of the plans we had (which I was really looking forward to) in favour of going with his friend, which left me kind of hurt, to be honest. I felt as though he viewed it that something better came along, and that I'd always be there, so it didn't hurt to cancel out on me. I said as much to him, and it ended up in a fight. He assumed I was trying to infringe on his weekend, (which wasn't even the case), and never really understood what I was actually trying to say. I let it go, and things went on as normal.
Fast forward to this year. We've been doing a lot of home renovations, and he's spent pretty much every weekend working on projects around the house. I've tried to get him to take a break and get out and do something fun together, but he always tells me he wants to get everything done in a good amount of time so we can start enjoying it. Time after time I hear "I'm too busy right now" or "just be patient, I'll be done soon." I wanted to plan a bunch of fun stuff for this weekend, and he told me that he didn't know if we'd be able to, since he wanted to finish the basement project, and it was essential that he get it done by next weekend. Lo and behold, his friend calls this week and says he'll be in town and wants to do the fishing weekend again. Immediately, all these ever so important things he had to finish are thrown aside, and he's already packed for the trip. I'm disappointed, and again I feel like I'm being stood up. I wouldn't dare bring the issue up again, since I don't want to be labeled as trying to interfere with his weekend, but it just feels like he takes our time for granted, and puts time with his buddy over me.
Am I unreasonable to feel slighted about this whole thing? He's generally a very loving and attentive husband otherwise, but I just don't feel like he thinks about the impact of his actions sometimes. I mean sure, I'll take advantage of this weekend and have some "me" time, and it's not the end of the world, but I guess I'm just wondering if it's wrong to expect that he should honour his commitments or time with his wife just as much as a childhood buddy. I'm not asking him to stop the fishing trips or anything riduclous like that, but when his friend invites him somewhere out of the blue after we've already planned something, it would be nice to not be blown off completely.
Any thoughts?
My husband is an avid fisherman, and every year, he goes on several fishing trips with his buddy. There is one weekend in particular which seems to be the "sacred boys wekend", which falls on the May long weekend every year. This has been practically set in stone, and I've never had a problem with it, and it was never even a issue until last year. His friend moved away for a job and it looked like they weren't going to be getting together, so we went ahead and made a bunch of plans, only to have his friend call two nights before and say he would be in town. My husband totally dropped all of the plans we had (which I was really looking forward to) in favour of going with his friend, which left me kind of hurt, to be honest. I felt as though he viewed it that something better came along, and that I'd always be there, so it didn't hurt to cancel out on me. I said as much to him, and it ended up in a fight. He assumed I was trying to infringe on his weekend, (which wasn't even the case), and never really understood what I was actually trying to say. I let it go, and things went on as normal.
Fast forward to this year. We've been doing a lot of home renovations, and he's spent pretty much every weekend working on projects around the house. I've tried to get him to take a break and get out and do something fun together, but he always tells me he wants to get everything done in a good amount of time so we can start enjoying it. Time after time I hear "I'm too busy right now" or "just be patient, I'll be done soon." I wanted to plan a bunch of fun stuff for this weekend, and he told me that he didn't know if we'd be able to, since he wanted to finish the basement project, and it was essential that he get it done by next weekend. Lo and behold, his friend calls this week and says he'll be in town and wants to do the fishing weekend again. Immediately, all these ever so important things he had to finish are thrown aside, and he's already packed for the trip. I'm disappointed, and again I feel like I'm being stood up. I wouldn't dare bring the issue up again, since I don't want to be labeled as trying to interfere with his weekend, but it just feels like he takes our time for granted, and puts time with his buddy over me.
Am I unreasonable to feel slighted about this whole thing? He's generally a very loving and attentive husband otherwise, but I just don't feel like he thinks about the impact of his actions sometimes. I mean sure, I'll take advantage of this weekend and have some "me" time, and it's not the end of the world, but I guess I'm just wondering if it's wrong to expect that he should honour his commitments or time with his wife just as much as a childhood buddy. I'm not asking him to stop the fishing trips or anything riduclous like that, but when his friend invites him somewhere out of the blue after we've already planned something, it would be nice to not be blown off completely.
Any thoughts?