Need Advice and Opinions...
My husband and I are in one of those situations where I think I'm right, he thinks he's right. So we realllllly need some unbiased advice/opinions here.
First, a little back story. My husband and I have been married for a little over 7 months now. We've been friends since the 6th grade and dated off and on throughout high school. We have been officially together since November 26th, 2004. We were engaged on March 18th, 2005 & married on November 18th, 2006.
So now on to the problem. About a month or so ago, one of my husband's friends from high school found him on myspace. She lives about 2 hours away. They both ran track in high school & met at track meets. They were never a "couple" or anything, but they did make out once. So she finds him on myspace & they start catching up again. Nathan tells her he's married & she reveals she has a daughter. I'm okay with all of this, old friends catching up. Well then they decide to meet one Saturday. I work a shift at Chili's on Saturday's (I'm in nursing school full time during the week) so they decided they would come eat there & sit in my section. Again, I was totally cool with all of this. So they come & eat & everything was fine. They went to the mall after they ate at Chilis & then she went home. The thing I do have a problem with is that they text each other all day long. I've told my husband I don't mind if they text while they are at work, because I often can't text my husband while he is at work because I am in school. So that is fine with me. What bothers me is that he continues texting her after we get home from work. I view our time away from work/school as "us" time & it bothers me that he feels the need to text another girl during that time. I've read a few of their texts and they are innocent, so it's not that I don't trust the two of them talking. I guess I just feel cheated that he spends just as much of his time, if not more, talking to another girl instead of his wife. We've had talks about this and he admits that it is "morally" wrong for him to talk to another girl as often as he does, but that it was also "morally" wrong for us to live together before we got married, but we still did it anyway. I just don't see how the two situations compare, but somehow, to him, they do.
I guess what I'm asking is this. Is it wrong for me to want him to leave her out of our "us" time? He claims that "us" time is just me on my computer & him on his computer, which sometimes it is because that's how we both relax and that it shouldn't matter if he sends texts during that time or not. I don't see why he can't say "Well, I'm home now so I'll talk to you tomorrow" and then spend the rest of the night focused on me. We only get about 3-4 hours a night with each other, so I value our time together. Anyway, any advice/opinions ya'll can give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
EDIT: First of all, thank you for so many quick replies. My husband & I have been reading them together. He wanted me to point out that the living together thing was wrong because his family is very religious and was very against it. And also, about the whole "make him jealous" thing by me texting another guy, he has told me numerous times to do so & that it wouldn't bother him because he trusts me. The reason for this Edit is to get "his side" in here too. So that's what he wanted pointed out.
First, a little back story. My husband and I have been married for a little over 7 months now. We've been friends since the 6th grade and dated off and on throughout high school. We have been officially together since November 26th, 2004. We were engaged on March 18th, 2005 & married on November 18th, 2006.
So now on to the problem. About a month or so ago, one of my husband's friends from high school found him on myspace. She lives about 2 hours away. They both ran track in high school & met at track meets. They were never a "couple" or anything, but they did make out once. So she finds him on myspace & they start catching up again. Nathan tells her he's married & she reveals she has a daughter. I'm okay with all of this, old friends catching up. Well then they decide to meet one Saturday. I work a shift at Chili's on Saturday's (I'm in nursing school full time during the week) so they decided they would come eat there & sit in my section. Again, I was totally cool with all of this. So they come & eat & everything was fine. They went to the mall after they ate at Chilis & then she went home. The thing I do have a problem with is that they text each other all day long. I've told my husband I don't mind if they text while they are at work, because I often can't text my husband while he is at work because I am in school. So that is fine with me. What bothers me is that he continues texting her after we get home from work. I view our time away from work/school as "us" time & it bothers me that he feels the need to text another girl during that time. I've read a few of their texts and they are innocent, so it's not that I don't trust the two of them talking. I guess I just feel cheated that he spends just as much of his time, if not more, talking to another girl instead of his wife. We've had talks about this and he admits that it is "morally" wrong for him to talk to another girl as often as he does, but that it was also "morally" wrong for us to live together before we got married, but we still did it anyway. I just don't see how the two situations compare, but somehow, to him, they do.
I guess what I'm asking is this. Is it wrong for me to want him to leave her out of our "us" time? He claims that "us" time is just me on my computer & him on his computer, which sometimes it is because that's how we both relax and that it shouldn't matter if he sends texts during that time or not. I don't see why he can't say "Well, I'm home now so I'll talk to you tomorrow" and then spend the rest of the night focused on me. We only get about 3-4 hours a night with each other, so I value our time together. Anyway, any advice/opinions ya'll can give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
EDIT: First of all, thank you for so many quick replies. My husband & I have been reading them together. He wanted me to point out that the living together thing was wrong because his family is very religious and was very against it. And also, about the whole "make him jealous" thing by me texting another guy, he has told me numerous times to do so & that it wouldn't bother him because he trusts me. The reason for this Edit is to get "his side" in here too. So that's what he wanted pointed out.