LJ Idol Week 3
“I’ve got to impress Professor Lindauer or I’ll never have a chance at the Summer Scholarship” said Luke, looking worriedly at his brother Anthony. They were standing at the official entrance to the paleontology dig in Wyoming. Their third year paper at the University of Otago required them to participate in field research for three months at an overseas fossil site. As Anthony looked around at the barren dusty landscape he compared it to the lush green hills and bush of his native New Zealand. There were pre-fab buildings erected in a several blocks at either end of this semi-permanent dig site. It was really a student site and anything of real interest had been discovered years ago. Luke scowled as a classmate passed with his tools. Bazza was at the top of the class and not only that, last week he had discovered a baby dinosaur skull. He and the professor were still doing tests to determine what species it was from, but that kind of find put Bazza as a frontrunner for one of the two summer jobs.
Luke turned an idea over in his mind, smiling slightly. “Anthony, I have a plan” he announced to his brother. “Let’s meet up at 12 midnight tomorrow over by D Block”. “What!” said Anthony in surprise “D Block? Are you serious?” “Shh” Luke hissed, “We have to do something big, ambitious, to show Professor Lindauer what we’re capable of”. “I don’t know ...” Anthony sighed. “But I guess I’ll have to come just to keep you out of trouble”. They smiled and carried on to their day’s work.
Next evening
“How are we even going to get in?” Anthony whispered “you know there’s an alarm”. “Don’t worry little bro, all sorted” replied Luke. He’d been watching the admin staff come and go for days and with the help of the zoom on his phone’s camera, had observed the entry codes. It was a clear night and Luke wondered why the whole camp couldn’t see every move he made in the bright moonlight.
Two minutes later they were in. “Which way?” Anthony peered in the semi-darkness. “Follow the signs, duh” Luke rolled his eyes at his brother. Several metres and another corridor away and they found themselves outside two swing-doors. “Time Lab” was the simple blue and white sign that hung above them. Anthony turned towards Luke “We don’t even know what we’re doing!” “Relax, how hard can it be?” replied Luke, but he was cold with fear.
Inside the room was the machine, fairly new, a prototype in fact and completely off-limits to students. It was the size of a small enclosed bathroom, with an LCD screen, control panel and two chairs. Luke settled in the front seat. He gingerly grasped Dial 1: “Date of Departure”. It was already set to their current date of 2069. Next, he set “Date of Destination” to 66 mya (millions of years ago). “Do you have the GPS?” “Yes, and the other equipment you told me to bring” answered Anthony, going pale. “Are we really going to do this?” “YES, just shut up!”. Stress was making Luke edgy. He held down the Start button and the time machine shuddered and went completely, inky black.
In what seemed like a couple of minutes, but could have been anything up to an hour, the machine jerked violently and all the lights came on. It was deathly quiet. “You ok?” Luke asked, “I think so” replied Anthony, turning towards Luke. “Then, let’s do this. And let’s make it quick”.
Luke was four years older than Anthony and had always been the leader and protector. Up until a few years ago he had always been taller and stronger than his brother but as Anthony exited his teenage years they found themselves to be more or less the same size. Despite childhood rivalry and fights, the brothers remained very close and always had each other’s backs.
Luke pushed open the door, tentatively. The landscape that they walked into was unlike anything they had ever seen. It was green, luxurious and heaving with growth and life. Everything was oversize and they felt as though they had stepped onto the set of “Jurassic Park”. Nervously, Anthony looked around for signs of animal life. So far nothing. He didn’t realise how inadequately his 21st century human observation skills were suited to this new environment. A beady eye fixed on them, curious about this little box and these toy-sized figures that had materialised in his environment.
“What the hell is that stench?” Luke made a show of holding his nose and staring at his brother. “Dude, did you fart or something??” “Whaaat? Hell NO” laughed Anthony, a little too harshly. “Look, just go do it then we can leave. This place gives me the creeps, I feel like something is watching us”. “Ok, ok - be back soon - give me the GPS”. Luke wandered behind a leafy conifer and Anthony suddenly felt like the only human to ever exist. Which he almost was. Two or three minutes passed “LUKE! Hurry up for God’s sake!” “Yeah yeah, calm the farm, I’m coming”.
Anthony looked up and fear ran icicles into his stomach as he came face to face with Tyrannosaurus Rex. The T-Rex tilted his head then let out a thundering, bowel-shattering roar. “Shit Luke, COME ON!” Luke popped out and they ran the few metres towards the time machine as the T-Rex shook the ground under them with another roar. Inside, they bolted the door and Luke tried to steady his hand to dial up the correct Destination Date. Sweat dripped from his nose onto the floor but it was done and the machine jerked and went black.
Next day
“Where are those Lloyd boys?” asked Professor Lindauer. He had the whole class assembled for the morning lecture and was annoyed at his missing students. These kids had no discipline, this was like some sort of holiday camp for them. No respect for his life’s work and the hours and hours that his predecessors had put in before him. “This generation is just lazy”, he thought to himself, “too many electronic gadgets and not enough wholesome physical activities”.
For a second he started to worry. Sometimes the younger students got drunk and had serious accidents around the dig site. But just then Luke and Anthony ran up. “Professor Lindauer, look what we came across in quadrant 4C!” they exclaimed. The Professor leaned forward and carefully took the fossil proffered. It was about 15 cm long and about 10 cm around at it’s widest point. It had a curved, log-like shape. The other students crowded around, buzzing with suggestions about what it might be and asking where exactly the boys had found it.
“Ladies and Gentlemen” began Professor Lindauer, going into lecture-mode “what you see before you is a first for this site. While generally not rare, I have never seen a specimen quite like this one. Can anyone tell me what this is?” “A leg bone?” offered a tanned blonde girl, who looked like she’d be more at home on a catwalk than amongst long-dead body parts. “A tail?” suggested another. “A spike?”
“No” smiled Professor Lindauer in his most exotic Mona-Lisa way, “this is a coprolite. What is unusual is that is has the appearance of being a human or ‘hominid’ type coprolite, which is completely against everything we know about this paleontology site.”
“Professor” said Barry, looking vexed, “what body part is a coprolite, I’ve never heard of it”. Luke and Anthony suppressed giggles in the back of the group. “Dear boy, a coprolite is a fossilised piece of faeces, a dropping, a ‘shit-stone’ if you will”. A low murmur of surprise went around the group and Barry’s face was scarlet. “Professor Lindauer” said Luke in a velvety voice “could we split it open to see if we can tell what it’s maker ate or whatever?” “Well, I don’t see why not, a coprolite’s main use is in determining how it’s ‘depositor’ lived, where it came from, what parasites it may have had, etc”. He selected a fine chisel and small hammer and tapped the fossil, splitting it straight down the middle like a fortune cookie.
“What the ...” he paused for a moment, looking startled. From the inside of the coprolite he picked up and unfolded what looked like a small strip of ... paper? He looked up at the group, then hardening his glance, fixed his stare at the Lloyd brothers and read aloud “He who craps first, craps last”.
Luke turned an idea over in his mind, smiling slightly. “Anthony, I have a plan” he announced to his brother. “Let’s meet up at 12 midnight tomorrow over by D Block”. “What!” said Anthony in surprise “D Block? Are you serious?” “Shh” Luke hissed, “We have to do something big, ambitious, to show Professor Lindauer what we’re capable of”. “I don’t know ...” Anthony sighed. “But I guess I’ll have to come just to keep you out of trouble”. They smiled and carried on to their day’s work.
Next evening
“How are we even going to get in?” Anthony whispered “you know there’s an alarm”. “Don’t worry little bro, all sorted” replied Luke. He’d been watching the admin staff come and go for days and with the help of the zoom on his phone’s camera, had observed the entry codes. It was a clear night and Luke wondered why the whole camp couldn’t see every move he made in the bright moonlight.
Two minutes later they were in. “Which way?” Anthony peered in the semi-darkness. “Follow the signs, duh” Luke rolled his eyes at his brother. Several metres and another corridor away and they found themselves outside two swing-doors. “Time Lab” was the simple blue and white sign that hung above them. Anthony turned towards Luke “We don’t even know what we’re doing!” “Relax, how hard can it be?” replied Luke, but he was cold with fear.
Inside the room was the machine, fairly new, a prototype in fact and completely off-limits to students. It was the size of a small enclosed bathroom, with an LCD screen, control panel and two chairs. Luke settled in the front seat. He gingerly grasped Dial 1: “Date of Departure”. It was already set to their current date of 2069. Next, he set “Date of Destination” to 66 mya (millions of years ago). “Do you have the GPS?” “Yes, and the other equipment you told me to bring” answered Anthony, going pale. “Are we really going to do this?” “YES, just shut up!”. Stress was making Luke edgy. He held down the Start button and the time machine shuddered and went completely, inky black.
In what seemed like a couple of minutes, but could have been anything up to an hour, the machine jerked violently and all the lights came on. It was deathly quiet. “You ok?” Luke asked, “I think so” replied Anthony, turning towards Luke. “Then, let’s do this. And let’s make it quick”.
Luke was four years older than Anthony and had always been the leader and protector. Up until a few years ago he had always been taller and stronger than his brother but as Anthony exited his teenage years they found themselves to be more or less the same size. Despite childhood rivalry and fights, the brothers remained very close and always had each other’s backs.
Luke pushed open the door, tentatively. The landscape that they walked into was unlike anything they had ever seen. It was green, luxurious and heaving with growth and life. Everything was oversize and they felt as though they had stepped onto the set of “Jurassic Park”. Nervously, Anthony looked around for signs of animal life. So far nothing. He didn’t realise how inadequately his 21st century human observation skills were suited to this new environment. A beady eye fixed on them, curious about this little box and these toy-sized figures that had materialised in his environment.
“What the hell is that stench?” Luke made a show of holding his nose and staring at his brother. “Dude, did you fart or something??” “Whaaat? Hell NO” laughed Anthony, a little too harshly. “Look, just go do it then we can leave. This place gives me the creeps, I feel like something is watching us”. “Ok, ok - be back soon - give me the GPS”. Luke wandered behind a leafy conifer and Anthony suddenly felt like the only human to ever exist. Which he almost was. Two or three minutes passed “LUKE! Hurry up for God’s sake!” “Yeah yeah, calm the farm, I’m coming”.
Anthony looked up and fear ran icicles into his stomach as he came face to face with Tyrannosaurus Rex. The T-Rex tilted his head then let out a thundering, bowel-shattering roar. “Shit Luke, COME ON!” Luke popped out and they ran the few metres towards the time machine as the T-Rex shook the ground under them with another roar. Inside, they bolted the door and Luke tried to steady his hand to dial up the correct Destination Date. Sweat dripped from his nose onto the floor but it was done and the machine jerked and went black.
Next day
“Where are those Lloyd boys?” asked Professor Lindauer. He had the whole class assembled for the morning lecture and was annoyed at his missing students. These kids had no discipline, this was like some sort of holiday camp for them. No respect for his life’s work and the hours and hours that his predecessors had put in before him. “This generation is just lazy”, he thought to himself, “too many electronic gadgets and not enough wholesome physical activities”.
For a second he started to worry. Sometimes the younger students got drunk and had serious accidents around the dig site. But just then Luke and Anthony ran up. “Professor Lindauer, look what we came across in quadrant 4C!” they exclaimed. The Professor leaned forward and carefully took the fossil proffered. It was about 15 cm long and about 10 cm around at it’s widest point. It had a curved, log-like shape. The other students crowded around, buzzing with suggestions about what it might be and asking where exactly the boys had found it.
“Ladies and Gentlemen” began Professor Lindauer, going into lecture-mode “what you see before you is a first for this site. While generally not rare, I have never seen a specimen quite like this one. Can anyone tell me what this is?” “A leg bone?” offered a tanned blonde girl, who looked like she’d be more at home on a catwalk than amongst long-dead body parts. “A tail?” suggested another. “A spike?”
“No” smiled Professor Lindauer in his most exotic Mona-Lisa way, “this is a coprolite. What is unusual is that is has the appearance of being a human or ‘hominid’ type coprolite, which is completely against everything we know about this paleontology site.”
“Professor” said Barry, looking vexed, “what body part is a coprolite, I’ve never heard of it”. Luke and Anthony suppressed giggles in the back of the group. “Dear boy, a coprolite is a fossilised piece of faeces, a dropping, a ‘shit-stone’ if you will”. A low murmur of surprise went around the group and Barry’s face was scarlet. “Professor Lindauer” said Luke in a velvety voice “could we split it open to see if we can tell what it’s maker ate or whatever?” “Well, I don’t see why not, a coprolite’s main use is in determining how it’s ‘depositor’ lived, where it came from, what parasites it may have had, etc”. He selected a fine chisel and small hammer and tapped the fossil, splitting it straight down the middle like a fortune cookie.
“What the ...” he paused for a moment, looking startled. From the inside of the coprolite he picked up and unfolded what looked like a small strip of ... paper? He looked up at the group, then hardening his glance, fixed his stare at the Lloyd brothers and read aloud “He who craps first, craps last”.