(no subject)
[Private]
Nothing. I spent the entire day in the library yesterday, and I've found NOTHING on Ashura's jewels. I must have gone through a hundred different books that looked relevant and I still can't find what I'm looking for. I've been popping back in there between classes today too, looking wherever I can, but there's NOTHING.
I guess I shouldn't have expected to be so lucky as to find it on my first try. I probably won't get it on my second or third try either. Probably not even my fourth. Maybe I won't find it at all and I'll be his toy forever. Research is both depressing and exhausting.
I really hate this. I'd rather numb my mind over with alcohol and not think about things like Ashura and how he's using me. But...if I do that, then it will never end. It'll be a never-ending cycle of Ashura manipulating my dreams to torment me and then me drinking myself into a stupor. I wouldn't refuse a drink right about now though...
I think I'm going to sneak into the library tonight. Or something. I don't know yet. I just don't feel like sleeping, alcohol or not. Maybe I'll just take Kuro-rin up to the Astronomy Tower to look at the stars. We haven't done that in a while.
I just need to be somewhere where I don't have to smile for anyone, just for tonight.
[/Private]
Naa~ It feels like I haven't been around as much lately, ne? Sorry for that, nya~. It's been a busy couple of days for me, ne? :3
For a day where I've been busy though, it's been pretty uneventful, nya~. We had practicals in Transfiguration and the muffins this morning were terrible, but beyond that...not much, ne? :/ Nya~ oh well. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit better, ne? =3
...I'm pretty tired, nyaa~. I think I'll turn in early, ne? ^^;
((ooc: Mood reads as "okay". And of course Fai has no intentions of "turning in early", so anyone who goes looking for him in his dorm will see that he's not there. :3))