Updates - Reflections
So I can look back years from now what I was like, without much filter, I'd like to start up e-journaling again.
My first steps, installing this app.
There are no perfect relationships. It is true. Sometimes, you will both have different visions of how you want to spend your weekends. That is one thing we go through as a couple. Different expectations of how our time is spent will lead to disagreements, frustration.
I wonder how DaSom is doing sometimes. I couldn't reach her over the years and I'm both worried and curious about what she is doing. The last I heard didn't seem too positive so I hope she surpasses her struggles.
I miss being able to write long emails about nothing to people. Over the years, I've had that. When I didn't journal on xanga or in my own personal entries, DaSom, Irene, Seung, Eli, Parneet, John, they've all been pretty wordy in their emails or my responses. I love long letters. Could be about nothing, could be once a year, but it is really nice to know their true raw, and innermost feelings. I don't feel like I get those opportunities a lot with Jeff. He is a doer, while I'm a thinker.
Which is why sometimes I appreciate him. His differences from me really snap me out of my thinking state. Though sometimes, it does feel like there's no time to stop and reflect.
He is a source of a lot of things, love, care, understanding (most of the time), but conversation is definitely not one of them.
Maria is delightfully the opposite. A neverending source of conversation. Oh Jemes also, but borders more towards the extreme, and sometimes more on a superficial level. I wonder if we can have deep conversations actually. We have similar interests, and we do get touched by similar movies.
My music buddies over the years.. those who loved soulful sad music, that touched our bones, leaving us with a deep, aching nostalgia of things lost.
Personally, I've loved empowerment songs. Naturally, I gravitated towards the female ones, but anything that jolts people from their funks are great.
I think I crave deep talks, that goes beyond the superficial.
Just finished watching a romantic korean drama, so it might just be the unbalanced feeling I get, missing the characters, saying goodbye. I wish I mever have to say goodbye. Looking for a replacement, the next thing to watch to drag my feelings around, high and low.
Jeff likes physical thrills, like rollercoasters. I like emotional thrills, well from dramas. I would hate it in my own personal, real life.
I probably need a way to say goodbye to these shows that really pull me into the characters, like a buddy to watch them with and discuss.
Until next time. Going to start my Sunday, Mother's Day with the hubby's family.
Feeling: slightly melancholy, contemplative.