Kristi Yamaguchi, Optimism
I read an article on Kristi Yamaguchi today, and I have decided that she is kindof wonderful. As a role model. Mainly because I feel like I relate to her, especially her favorite childhood books being Charlotte's Web(!) and the Anne of Green Gable series(!!). That was exciting to read. If she also liked The Phantom Tollbooth, I'd be completely overwhelmed. Her passion for helping kids?? That's wonderful. Just a great inspiration.
My optimism combined with a - healthy or unhealthy, I haven't figured it out yet - dose of realism. I think the worst part of combining these two is the ongoing battle I have in my head of which is right and wrong. Neither could be right 100% of the time, so not knowing ...is a killer. It's not like work, where I can spend some time on it, and it will all be resolved. I can't get a coworker's input on it, and we will collectively solve it together. It might never be resolved. I might never know. And that, weighs heavily on my mind. It's such an unnecessary burden to carry though, and I realize how illogical it is. How come I can't get it to stick? Is it because I am also partially ruled by my emotions? Haha, I can imagine if my choices were more logic-driven. I would not be stuck in such a dilemma, but they'd be so ruthless. "My relationship with this person will have a 60% chance of working out - therefore, we should not proceed." It seems a little desirable actually. To have a personality like that. I feel so wishy-washy. It'd be nice to be more blunt to people, to certain people. I want them to know how others may view them, but don't want to say anything mean.
I realized that recently, just like Charmonique's (from Selfie) default is to say "No," my default is to say something positive about people when others are talking bad about them. Excusing them from something that may not be entirely right. Perhaps I can help them improve as people if I say something. Perhaps I would not, and it will just make their day worse. I don't really know. I feel a strong urge to tell one person now though. And I feel somewhat close enough to them to say it. Would that harm our relationship though? It might. On the other hand (haha, there is this...), what if I just want to say something because I'm tired of them being the way they are? I no longer have good intentions. I should find a tactful way to say it.
My optimism combined with a - healthy or unhealthy, I haven't figured it out yet - dose of realism. I think the worst part of combining these two is the ongoing battle I have in my head of which is right and wrong. Neither could be right 100% of the time, so not knowing ...is a killer. It's not like work, where I can spend some time on it, and it will all be resolved. I can't get a coworker's input on it, and we will collectively solve it together. It might never be resolved. I might never know. And that, weighs heavily on my mind. It's such an unnecessary burden to carry though, and I realize how illogical it is. How come I can't get it to stick? Is it because I am also partially ruled by my emotions? Haha, I can imagine if my choices were more logic-driven. I would not be stuck in such a dilemma, but they'd be so ruthless. "My relationship with this person will have a 60% chance of working out - therefore, we should not proceed." It seems a little desirable actually. To have a personality like that. I feel so wishy-washy. It'd be nice to be more blunt to people, to certain people. I want them to know how others may view them, but don't want to say anything mean.
I realized that recently, just like Charmonique's (from Selfie) default is to say "No," my default is to say something positive about people when others are talking bad about them. Excusing them from something that may not be entirely right. Perhaps I can help them improve as people if I say something. Perhaps I would not, and it will just make their day worse. I don't really know. I feel a strong urge to tell one person now though. And I feel somewhat close enough to them to say it. Would that harm our relationship though? It might. On the other hand (haha, there is this...), what if I just want to say something because I'm tired of them being the way they are? I no longer have good intentions. I should find a tactful way to say it.