(no subject)
i know this may sound stupid but..
through the most serious contemplation with the closest friends i'll ever have, i have realized that i will not allow myself to be defined by you, or what we were. it's so hard to accept this really is what's best for us and that you plainly do not want our relationship anymore but there's no other way. as much as i have appreciated what you've put up with, i'm sorry for testing your limits. i can truly say i do miss you all the time and this breakup has leaven me with the worssst throbbing pain everr.
i'm not going to find you at the bottom of the cup
you won't be there at the end of the bottle
and we certainly won't be at the end of a joint
basically these time gaps that used to go to you or us, are not filled with meaningless, unproductive, and alcoholic/blown behavior. and can you believe, this is just to get my mind off of you? everytime im stumbing on steps all dizzy and cross eyed- i'm thinking about the plans we made ahead of us, and how they so easily had slipped through my fingers
i love you alot.
enough to know that i can no longer get in your way anymore. if i loved you as much as i say i do- i'll give you this space i'll do this for you even if it kills me inside. you are definitely a great guy, a guy at some point i convinced myself that i want to marry. a guy i know would be perfect for me in the long run. i guy i know that will keep me in shape and healthy and on track and smart. a guy who will continue to share the same humor with even when we grow old. a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.
but you can't be that guy to me, as much as i want you to, you can't.
and i understand why i'm not a good choice, and all i can do i say that i appreciate our time together and i do value it deeply. but you are just a part of my life that i have to get over now. because i want to be able to see you anytime from here to when we're 60 with a woman and a family that you truely deserve playing at the park or something... and i want to be able to look at that and be happy for you. and be okay with me being alone walking my dog, coming home to a few bills after, and just being able to sit in my bed and not cry about howmuch i missed out. but better yet reflect on how great of a guy you were and how happy i am for you life at that moment. is that even understandable?
i'm high.
but i am definately in love. in love enough to let go.
through the most serious contemplation with the closest friends i'll ever have, i have realized that i will not allow myself to be defined by you, or what we were. it's so hard to accept this really is what's best for us and that you plainly do not want our relationship anymore but there's no other way. as much as i have appreciated what you've put up with, i'm sorry for testing your limits. i can truly say i do miss you all the time and this breakup has leaven me with the worssst throbbing pain everr.
i'm not going to find you at the bottom of the cup
you won't be there at the end of the bottle
and we certainly won't be at the end of a joint
basically these time gaps that used to go to you or us, are not filled with meaningless, unproductive, and alcoholic/blown behavior. and can you believe, this is just to get my mind off of you? everytime im stumbing on steps all dizzy and cross eyed- i'm thinking about the plans we made ahead of us, and how they so easily had slipped through my fingers
i love you alot.
enough to know that i can no longer get in your way anymore. if i loved you as much as i say i do- i'll give you this space i'll do this for you even if it kills me inside. you are definitely a great guy, a guy at some point i convinced myself that i want to marry. a guy i know would be perfect for me in the long run. i guy i know that will keep me in shape and healthy and on track and smart. a guy who will continue to share the same humor with even when we grow old. a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with.
but you can't be that guy to me, as much as i want you to, you can't.
and i understand why i'm not a good choice, and all i can do i say that i appreciate our time together and i do value it deeply. but you are just a part of my life that i have to get over now. because i want to be able to see you anytime from here to when we're 60 with a woman and a family that you truely deserve playing at the park or something... and i want to be able to look at that and be happy for you. and be okay with me being alone walking my dog, coming home to a few bills after, and just being able to sit in my bed and not cry about howmuch i missed out. but better yet reflect on how great of a guy you were and how happy i am for you life at that moment. is that even understandable?
i'm high.
but i am definately in love. in love enough to let go.