second lj entry in a day. man, I must really need some venting...
In random news of my bad night: my mom has been a real asshole to me tonight. She decided to get on my ass about cleaning my room and when she decides to get on my ass about something, she talks her stupid (probably drunk at the time) ass in circles until I scream back at her. Not only that but when I asked for the conversation to be over she said okay and then started all over again. Stupid bitch. Then she starts talking about all sorts of other shit and I say, "listen, I really need this conversation to stop because you're bringing back my anxiety and I don't want that right now because I was doing fine." She tells me that it's too late it's back! I don't know what could have driven her to say this, other than maybe she was just trying to get at me. Well it fucking worked. I screamed and yelled at her with the door wide open and left. She tried to get me to not leave, but I told her not to bother and fuck her because I couldn't stand to be near her anymore.
On top of all this I never planned to live here this summer. I'm not coming back after I graduate, but I'm scared about that and don't want to think about it right now. I'm calling my therapist up at school tomorrow and talking to her. What gets me is that everything was going fine. [I]I was fine.[/I] I was not freaking out about things and I was not scared. I'm so pissed at her. This is probably all due to HER fucking anxiety over my brother being away (first real time, he's at this camp in Florida until Tuesday and he's 14) and her trying to start dating again.
I wish there were people in this town I could talk to and go to. No one is here though. I called Hannah and left a pointless message (her phone is down until further notice). I then text messaged Katie who called me back and I got to talk to her for a while. Thank goodness, too, or I would have cried the whole night and would have wound up going back to the house to fight more with my mom, who was waiting up "worried for my safety".
It's not been a good night.
On top of all this I never planned to live here this summer. I'm not coming back after I graduate, but I'm scared about that and don't want to think about it right now. I'm calling my therapist up at school tomorrow and talking to her. What gets me is that everything was going fine. [I]I was fine.[/I] I was not freaking out about things and I was not scared. I'm so pissed at her. This is probably all due to HER fucking anxiety over my brother being away (first real time, he's at this camp in Florida until Tuesday and he's 14) and her trying to start dating again.
I wish there were people in this town I could talk to and go to. No one is here though. I called Hannah and left a pointless message (her phone is down until further notice). I then text messaged Katie who called me back and I got to talk to her for a while. Thank goodness, too, or I would have cried the whole night and would have wound up going back to the house to fight more with my mom, who was waiting up "worried for my safety".
It's not been a good night.