Here I go again...
I hate lonely spells..I know they only last for a short amount of time.. but damn it when your in it , it feels like forever. It only hits harder now because im in a town where I know no one, and im still restricted to the house, and I have no one to talk to..
All this may seem boring to you but you really don't care either way.
Putting aside the fact of all things new. Why is it that these periods of time are way too common for me. Im not one to boast about my life or whats going on in it.. but damn I really am an extremely boring person when it comes down to it. Extremely anti-social yet im extremely social when im comfortable. Ok I know im weird but damn it.. I guess thats what makes me me? Eh. Whose to know? The fact that I constantly contradict myself. That at some points of the day I question if i'm fake or if I happen to be lying to myself everyday just to get through it? Im not even sure anymore. In these 20yrs of being "me" I still can't figure out if im a lie or not. I don't care if you tell me how original you tell me that my personality is.. are you sure that its me. I don't even know. And no im not talking out of my ass.. this is a total self recognition moment I guess.
I can sit here and honestly say that im the biggest walking contradiction If you can handle the fact that I have no clue who I am, what i'm doing here, that I can't stand my own skin,also that I have a feeble heart.. then we'll be fine.. But I doubt that can happen because people now aday perfer drama with their relationships and friendships and im not about that. Im as simple minded as they come and yet im the biggest contradiction. Yes thats the life I lead. kudos to you if your ok with that and if your not then thats all on you.
I'm not the music I listen to .. it doesn't define who I am.. nor does it rule my life.. that goes the same for my clothes and the people around me... but why does it feel like im ruled by them all?
I guess in the end im am just as worthless and superficial as people think I am...
boy the things that make up an individual.
no this isn't a cry for any kind of attention.. I just hate when I have too much time to think.
All this may seem boring to you but you really don't care either way.
Putting aside the fact of all things new. Why is it that these periods of time are way too common for me. Im not one to boast about my life or whats going on in it.. but damn I really am an extremely boring person when it comes down to it. Extremely anti-social yet im extremely social when im comfortable. Ok I know im weird but damn it.. I guess thats what makes me me? Eh. Whose to know? The fact that I constantly contradict myself. That at some points of the day I question if i'm fake or if I happen to be lying to myself everyday just to get through it? Im not even sure anymore. In these 20yrs of being "me" I still can't figure out if im a lie or not. I don't care if you tell me how original you tell me that my personality is.. are you sure that its me. I don't even know. And no im not talking out of my ass.. this is a total self recognition moment I guess.
I can sit here and honestly say that im the biggest walking contradiction If you can handle the fact that I have no clue who I am, what i'm doing here, that I can't stand my own skin,also that I have a feeble heart.. then we'll be fine.. But I doubt that can happen because people now aday perfer drama with their relationships and friendships and im not about that. Im as simple minded as they come and yet im the biggest contradiction. Yes thats the life I lead. kudos to you if your ok with that and if your not then thats all on you.
I'm not the music I listen to .. it doesn't define who I am.. nor does it rule my life.. that goes the same for my clothes and the people around me... but why does it feel like im ruled by them all?
I guess in the end im am just as worthless and superficial as people think I am...
boy the things that make up an individual.
no this isn't a cry for any kind of attention.. I just hate when I have too much time to think.