(no subject)
LIFE WITHOUT THE TOOTHBRUSH
A NOVEL
ONE DAY THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH WOKE UP. THEY ROLLED OUT OF BED AND WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM. THEY REACHED FOR THEIR TOOTHBRUSHES, THEIR HANDS GROPING HELPLESSLY FOR THE FAMILIAR PLASTIC UTENSIL THAT WAS NO LONGER THERE.
THINGS WENT OK FOR A WHILE. THE CHILDREN REJOICED. WITHOUT THE TOOTHBRUSH, PARENTS AND DENTISTS EVERYWHERE WERE HELPLESS TO INFORCE THE STRICT DENTAL REGIMEN THAT BOYS AND GRILS FROM TOKYO TO LIMA HAD GROWN TO DESPISE. THE GROWN UPS WERE PUZZLED, BUT NOT TO WORRIED. WHAT WAS A LITTLE PLAQUE EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE?
THEY WERE SOON TO FIND OUT. AFTER A WEEK, PEOPLE’S TEETH STARTED TO FEEL SLIMY. THEIR GUMS GOT FUZZY AND THEIR BREATH SMELLED HORRIBLE. STORES EVERYWHERE SOLD OUT OF FLOSS AND BREATHMINTS AND PRETTY SOON PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO MANUFACTURE THEIR OWN WITH MATERIALS SUCH AS YARN, FISHING TACKLE, SOAP AND SYLICONE SHOE CRYSTALS. EVERYWHERE NEWS CHANNELS BROUGHT MORE NEWS ABOUT THE HORRIBLE TOOTHBRUSH FAMINE AND THE CASUALTIES IT HAD WROUGHT. A YOUNG GIRL HAD BEEN KILLED IN TUSCAN AFTER SWALLOWING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF AQUAFRESH MOUTH WASH. A MAN IN HELSINKI HAD PULLED OUT A MOLAR WITH HIS BAREHANDS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RID HIMSELF OF A PIECE OF STEAK STUCK BETWEEN HIS TEETH. CASES WERE REPORTED EVERYWHERE OF GANGS OF DESPERATE MEN AND WOMEN ACOSTING OLD PEOPLE ON THE STREET AND STEALING THEIR DENTURES.
DAY AFTER DAY, WEEK AFTER WEEK, THE PEOPLE SUFFERED. THEIR GUMS LONGED FOR THE GENTLE CARESS OF THOSE LOVELY WHITE BRISTLES. BUT ALAS, THE ONLY THING CARESSING THEIR GUMS WERE GINGIVITIS AND CANCER. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WERE LOSING THEIR TEETH, AND WERE HAPPY ABOUT IT AS THE PAIN OF DECAY WAS UNBEARABLE. PEOPLE LONGED FOR THE FOAMY SENSATION THAT ONLY THEIR TOOTH BRUSH COULD SUPPLY.
A FEW COMPANIES, TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SHORTAGE ATTEMPTED TO MAKE MORE BRUSHES AND SELL THEM AT HIGH PRICES. BUT THE PEOPLE SWARMED THE FACTORIES CLOGGING THE GEARS AND TEARING AT THE METAL MACHINES WITH THEIR BEAR HANDS. SOON A FULL ON RIOT BROKE OUT; TOTAL ANARCHY REIGNED. THE PARANIOD POPULOUS WAS OUT FOR BLOOD. ONE NIGHT THEY STORMED THE HOUSE OF THE COLGATE PRESIDENT, MARCHED HIM TO THE TOP OF A TALL BUILDING AND PRECEDED TO THROW STONES AT HIM.
THE NEXT MORNING, THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD AWOKE TO A JOYOUS DISCOVERY. THE TOOTHBRUSHES WERE BACK! MAN WOMAN AND CHILD JOINED HANDS IN SONG AS THEY PRAISED THEIR BELOVED TOOTHBRUSHES. NEVER AGAIN WOULD THEY SKIP A NIGHT OF BRUSHNG. NEVER AGAIN WOULD THEY “ACCIDENTLY” LEAVE THEIR BRUSH IN LAST NIGHTS MOTEL ROOM. NEVER WOULD THEY TAKE THEIR BRUSHES FOR GRANTED, AND NEVER WOULD THEY FORGET THE HORRORS OF LIFE WITHOUT THE TOOTHBRUSH.
A NOVEL
ONE DAY THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH WOKE UP. THEY ROLLED OUT OF BED AND WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM. THEY REACHED FOR THEIR TOOTHBRUSHES, THEIR HANDS GROPING HELPLESSLY FOR THE FAMILIAR PLASTIC UTENSIL THAT WAS NO LONGER THERE.
THINGS WENT OK FOR A WHILE. THE CHILDREN REJOICED. WITHOUT THE TOOTHBRUSH, PARENTS AND DENTISTS EVERYWHERE WERE HELPLESS TO INFORCE THE STRICT DENTAL REGIMEN THAT BOYS AND GRILS FROM TOKYO TO LIMA HAD GROWN TO DESPISE. THE GROWN UPS WERE PUZZLED, BUT NOT TO WORRIED. WHAT WAS A LITTLE PLAQUE EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE?
THEY WERE SOON TO FIND OUT. AFTER A WEEK, PEOPLE’S TEETH STARTED TO FEEL SLIMY. THEIR GUMS GOT FUZZY AND THEIR BREATH SMELLED HORRIBLE. STORES EVERYWHERE SOLD OUT OF FLOSS AND BREATHMINTS AND PRETTY SOON PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO MANUFACTURE THEIR OWN WITH MATERIALS SUCH AS YARN, FISHING TACKLE, SOAP AND SYLICONE SHOE CRYSTALS. EVERYWHERE NEWS CHANNELS BROUGHT MORE NEWS ABOUT THE HORRIBLE TOOTHBRUSH FAMINE AND THE CASUALTIES IT HAD WROUGHT. A YOUNG GIRL HAD BEEN KILLED IN TUSCAN AFTER SWALLOWING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF AQUAFRESH MOUTH WASH. A MAN IN HELSINKI HAD PULLED OUT A MOLAR WITH HIS BAREHANDS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RID HIMSELF OF A PIECE OF STEAK STUCK BETWEEN HIS TEETH. CASES WERE REPORTED EVERYWHERE OF GANGS OF DESPERATE MEN AND WOMEN ACOSTING OLD PEOPLE ON THE STREET AND STEALING THEIR DENTURES.
DAY AFTER DAY, WEEK AFTER WEEK, THE PEOPLE SUFFERED. THEIR GUMS LONGED FOR THE GENTLE CARESS OF THOSE LOVELY WHITE BRISTLES. BUT ALAS, THE ONLY THING CARESSING THEIR GUMS WERE GINGIVITIS AND CANCER. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WERE LOSING THEIR TEETH, AND WERE HAPPY ABOUT IT AS THE PAIN OF DECAY WAS UNBEARABLE. PEOPLE LONGED FOR THE FOAMY SENSATION THAT ONLY THEIR TOOTH BRUSH COULD SUPPLY.
A FEW COMPANIES, TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SHORTAGE ATTEMPTED TO MAKE MORE BRUSHES AND SELL THEM AT HIGH PRICES. BUT THE PEOPLE SWARMED THE FACTORIES CLOGGING THE GEARS AND TEARING AT THE METAL MACHINES WITH THEIR BEAR HANDS. SOON A FULL ON RIOT BROKE OUT; TOTAL ANARCHY REIGNED. THE PARANIOD POPULOUS WAS OUT FOR BLOOD. ONE NIGHT THEY STORMED THE HOUSE OF THE COLGATE PRESIDENT, MARCHED HIM TO THE TOP OF A TALL BUILDING AND PRECEDED TO THROW STONES AT HIM.
THE NEXT MORNING, THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD AWOKE TO A JOYOUS DISCOVERY. THE TOOTHBRUSHES WERE BACK! MAN WOMAN AND CHILD JOINED HANDS IN SONG AS THEY PRAISED THEIR BELOVED TOOTHBRUSHES. NEVER AGAIN WOULD THEY SKIP A NIGHT OF BRUSHNG. NEVER AGAIN WOULD THEY “ACCIDENTLY” LEAVE THEIR BRUSH IN LAST NIGHTS MOTEL ROOM. NEVER WOULD THEY TAKE THEIR BRUSHES FOR GRANTED, AND NEVER WOULD THEY FORGET THE HORRORS OF LIFE WITHOUT THE TOOTHBRUSH.