Congested Mind
I'm so depressed right now over so many different things, a few I'm not gonna mention, but one reason is because I haven't been myself lately. I reprehend this period of devastation. But it all ties together because of one thing that I don't want to mention. I've been keeping to myself a lot and have created my own little "bubble". I've only let one person into my "bubble" and I regret this. I don't know how to recover from this little plague of sickness. I want to bask in happiness again, I want everything to be okay again, but it won't be okay until I can be sure of something, but I am scared of the results. I never even thought once about it happening to me, but it all pieced together like a confusing jigsaw puzzle, with all the signs and genetics...it's a 50/50 chance. I'm sorry to whoever I've pissed off ... but hopefully I will recover soon and be my old self again..but until then...I have no motivation of being social.
I've worked my ass off at work, and I'm getting sick of it already. People are assholes and don't appreciate anything you do for them..well fuck them if they can't be grateful. The bad thing about it though... you have to be nice ..no matter what... and sometimes I just wanna tell them to shut the fuck up. Eh...another day of working tomorrow..and the next day...and the next day...and the next day.....
Lately I've been staying up until 6 a.m. but I'm gonna start going to bed earlier, so I'm gonna go