Understanding & Gratitude
A few years ago I read a book and the author talked about making a conscious effort to change your habits. Her theory is that once you commit to making a change there is a pendulum effect where you waiver from one end of the spectrum to the next until it slows down and you reach your desired state of change. I've noticed this in my last few posts here and on my personal journal as well. I was getting upset with myself thinking 'what are you? some type of schizo?' until I realized it was the natural path of embracing change. No one changes overnight and your perception will swing from one extreme to the next until you finally settle and come to terms with the changes you are making in your life.
I'm in the middle of a metamorphosis. Sometimes shyt gets ugly. Sometimes its so sweet I think Ima throw myself into diabetic shock from all the sappiness I'm feeling but I dont fight it anymore. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling. I try to remain aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it. I'm the subject of my own spiritual experiment and I love seeing the growth I am making. My ego is really tied up with wanting to be right all the time but I dont need to be 'right' if I want to grow.
I cry. A lot. I'll get so overwhelmed with gratitude and I'll start thinking about all the ways I am truly blessed and the tears just start running. I think about my family, my friends and people who I've grown closer to during the year and I am thankful for them all. I thank God for putting such patient people in my life who genuinely care about my growth and I'm like damn, I'm so blessed. More tears. Last night I felt like God was in my ear telling me to prepare myself for the road ahead of me. I cant see the road but I feel it in my heart. My ability to create is my gift. It is not for me to profit and line my pockets with money but it is to be used as a vehicle for me to help as many people as I can. This time right now is for me to build my strength for all the work and responsibility that will be added to my load as the years go on. While chasing my passion I've run smack dab into my purpose and that makes me feel so greatful, so blessed, so motivated.
Instead of spending money on gifts I'll be sending thank you letters to all those who have had a hand in making me better. Theres a lot of people to thank. I sent one a few weeks ago to someone and I was crying while writing it because I am just that damn thankful that they would take time to help me evolve into something greater than I am today. Like damn. They needed to know how much their support truly means and I want my support system to know that I value every word of advice, every hug, every dollar, every vibration of love that they send my way. I'm not doing this alone. My whole team has a hand in who I am and they need to know that.
Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. ~Leo Buscaglia
I'm in the middle of a metamorphosis. Sometimes shyt gets ugly. Sometimes its so sweet I think Ima throw myself into diabetic shock from all the sappiness I'm feeling but I dont fight it anymore. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling. I try to remain aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it. I'm the subject of my own spiritual experiment and I love seeing the growth I am making. My ego is really tied up with wanting to be right all the time but I dont need to be 'right' if I want to grow.
I cry. A lot. I'll get so overwhelmed with gratitude and I'll start thinking about all the ways I am truly blessed and the tears just start running. I think about my family, my friends and people who I've grown closer to during the year and I am thankful for them all. I thank God for putting such patient people in my life who genuinely care about my growth and I'm like damn, I'm so blessed. More tears. Last night I felt like God was in my ear telling me to prepare myself for the road ahead of me. I cant see the road but I feel it in my heart. My ability to create is my gift. It is not for me to profit and line my pockets with money but it is to be used as a vehicle for me to help as many people as I can. This time right now is for me to build my strength for all the work and responsibility that will be added to my load as the years go on. While chasing my passion I've run smack dab into my purpose and that makes me feel so greatful, so blessed, so motivated.
Instead of spending money on gifts I'll be sending thank you letters to all those who have had a hand in making me better. Theres a lot of people to thank. I sent one a few weeks ago to someone and I was crying while writing it because I am just that damn thankful that they would take time to help me evolve into something greater than I am today. Like damn. They needed to know how much their support truly means and I want my support system to know that I value every word of advice, every hug, every dollar, every vibration of love that they send my way. I'm not doing this alone. My whole team has a hand in who I am and they need to know that.
Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. ~Leo Buscaglia