double vision of full pink lips and perfect teeth
well been a long time lj. god things are crazy have been crazy. last week was especially horrid because after a really horrid fight my mother and I asked my father to leave. usually when they have a fight me and mami leave but this time we made him leave. it was emotionally and physically draining as per usual but I wasn't as upset by my father's verbal vomit as I usually am. it happened last thursday and then on sunday he came back. its rather complicated I don't feel the need to go into further detail but he did apologize and I believe him. one of the major reasons I did was I know that my mother needs him. they have been together for 30 some years their lives are entwined and for her I will forgive him and also because he is my father. no matter what I love him. There have been other family revelations I found out that my Nanita never tried to see me when I was born, the only reason she saw me was because my step grandfather's niece was getting married and I just happened to be at Clara's when she stopped by. I know that she is utterly narcissistic but it still hurt just a little. there is also wonderful wonderful news. construction has officially started on the casa. should be done by the summer! also a wish very very close to my heart is very likely to come true. my superstitious sicilian nature keeps me from speaking it aloud for I fear jinxing it.