(no subject)
i feel like the worst 19 year old in the world. its a saturday night, and i'm holed up in my parents' room writing a paper. except i'm not really writing my paper because i'm wasting time on facebook and AIM. ohhhh fuck my procrastination and lack of motivation.
college just plays games with your motivation. you're surrounded by such hardworking people, so sometimes, you feel such passion and drive to work hard and do well. But right when you're about to start cracking down on the books, your floormates come knocking on your door wanting to hang out. And then I lose motivation to do anything except goof around with my lovely friends. Ughhhh. So then I come home on the weekend in order to stay focused on my paper, but instead of being focused, I find dumb ways to waste time on the internet. why oh why oh why!!!
I hate writing papers. Why am I an English major again?????????
I actually rolled around on the floor today in exasperation, yelling out "I DONT WANT TO WRITE THIS PAPERRRRRRRR." My mother thought I was going crazy. And I am.
Speaking of my parents, they are out having fun on a Saturday night. I'm not. MY LIFE SUCKS.
No, I know it really doesn't. Actually, life has been quite peachy lately... aside from midterms and papers. Certain people are always making me laugh, and I believe that it's laughter that makes life worth living. Also, things are going great with my family... for the first time in a long time. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder? I had so many problems with them when I was actually living with them, but now that I have some distance, it just makes me that much more thankful and happy to see them during weekend visits. Yesterday, my dad said the sweetest thing. He was talking to my mom about heaven, and he said, "I hope in heaven, I can still talk to you and Christine and Danny." Awwwwww. I've always been a daddy's girl.
I haven't written in this thing in ages. I have a new blog... which is a bit more personal and somber. Not that anybody would actually want to read my lame thoughts, but in any case, it's on my facebook.
I can't wait until summer. SUMMER!!!! I'm taking a Shakespeare class at Berkeley to get rid of a major requirement, and I'm also going to find a part-time job somewhere. And I'm going to catch up on lots of good TV. And movies. And music. And BOOKS. Good God, I haven't done any pleasure reading in ages. And as much as I love the Wife of Bath, the pleasure kind of gets sucked out of it all when I have to write a paper on the moral degeneracy of her character.
But you know, as paiiiiiinful as these papers are, I do think I've picked the right major. I'm taking a bio class right now and I'm compelled to work hard for it simply for my GPA. But for my English class, I want to work hard on it for ME. For my personal pride. For my personal enrichment and enjoyment of the course. Bio is just annoyingly boring. English is annoying, but in the way that it gets under my skin and makes me think way too hard when my brain just wants to indulge in some trash television.
college just plays games with your motivation. you're surrounded by such hardworking people, so sometimes, you feel such passion and drive to work hard and do well. But right when you're about to start cracking down on the books, your floormates come knocking on your door wanting to hang out. And then I lose motivation to do anything except goof around with my lovely friends. Ughhhh. So then I come home on the weekend in order to stay focused on my paper, but instead of being focused, I find dumb ways to waste time on the internet. why oh why oh why!!!
I hate writing papers. Why am I an English major again?????????
I actually rolled around on the floor today in exasperation, yelling out "I DONT WANT TO WRITE THIS PAPERRRRRRRR." My mother thought I was going crazy. And I am.
Speaking of my parents, they are out having fun on a Saturday night. I'm not. MY LIFE SUCKS.
No, I know it really doesn't. Actually, life has been quite peachy lately... aside from midterms and papers. Certain people are always making me laugh, and I believe that it's laughter that makes life worth living. Also, things are going great with my family... for the first time in a long time. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder? I had so many problems with them when I was actually living with them, but now that I have some distance, it just makes me that much more thankful and happy to see them during weekend visits. Yesterday, my dad said the sweetest thing. He was talking to my mom about heaven, and he said, "I hope in heaven, I can still talk to you and Christine and Danny." Awwwwww. I've always been a daddy's girl.
I haven't written in this thing in ages. I have a new blog... which is a bit more personal and somber. Not that anybody would actually want to read my lame thoughts, but in any case, it's on my facebook.
I can't wait until summer. SUMMER!!!! I'm taking a Shakespeare class at Berkeley to get rid of a major requirement, and I'm also going to find a part-time job somewhere. And I'm going to catch up on lots of good TV. And movies. And music. And BOOKS. Good God, I haven't done any pleasure reading in ages. And as much as I love the Wife of Bath, the pleasure kind of gets sucked out of it all when I have to write a paper on the moral degeneracy of her character.
But you know, as paiiiiiinful as these papers are, I do think I've picked the right major. I'm taking a bio class right now and I'm compelled to work hard for it simply for my GPA. But for my English class, I want to work hard on it for ME. For my personal pride. For my personal enrichment and enjoyment of the course. Bio is just annoyingly boring. English is annoying, but in the way that it gets under my skin and makes me think way too hard when my brain just wants to indulge in some trash television.