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[_like_weeds]

Just found something I wrote my first semester at umass, and I didn't know it then, but now i see it's about how i was never meant to go to school. fuck. it was a prophecy i missed

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but i also mean that you weren't meant to not go to school. i've been out of classes since I took medical leave in the fall of 2009. that's hard for me to admit. sometimes i think a college degree is so absurd, but then i am faced with the reality that a lot of jobs that are important to me do require a degree. i was looking into americorps for a moment and realized that despite having been in college for what seems like forever, i'm still only eligible for positions that are available to a high school graduate. we've changed so much since high school, you know! i've furiously come to believe that the value of a bachelors degree is not so much about the learning, but of one's capability to complete a course of study at university. & there are so many disgusting variables that constitute the chasm between one's "capability" (e.g. finance, health) and one's true "ability". & so many out-of-focus implications that tend to be drawn, both externally and internally, from that distinction.
okay i don't know when i am going to run out of things to say, so i am going to end this comment with the best of wishes for you on your odyssey of life. feel free to email me (rpf2112(a)columbia.edu) if you feel like venting. i'm kind of a pro at the "wait, college?" thing.