Laryssa's Home is falling apart.
so. my housemates have decided we all can't live together anymore. i suppose i shouldn't bother with a lot of details, but here's a few.
it sucks. i'm really sad. i feel so rejected, and i'm uncomfortable about all of this. i didn't handle it very well, either - we had a house meeting about it tonight, and after i'd said all i was willing to say i just got quiet, then up and left during the attempted casual conversation after. i've been largely holed up in my room since then.
it came up that it's a problem that i bring too many friends over and that doesn't work for everyone here. this is valid in a way - i don't mind houseguests. it's never an issue for me. i don't care who's here so long as they're nice and my room is still mine. not everyone works like that, though, and i've definitely felt uneasy about having friends over on the grounds that i may be stepping on other people's toes. i don't like feeling like that - it's my home too. i'm careful to give notice and get the go ahead if i'll be having guests over, with some scattered forgettings over time. perhaps, it's suggested, i'm not suited to living in an environment with people who need their space as much as my roommates do. okay. that's probably true.
i feel i've been singled out, though, in this respect and overall as a cause of problems, and it's pretty hard to deal with. it's also strange that two of my three roommates have decided to move in together, and the other two of us are on our own. Rejection. so i'm not sure where i'll go. i do have some friends that are away for the summer and will be looking for a new place when they return...i suppose i have prospects but everything is completely up in the air.
maybe, maybe, if my work will give me the time off (which they probably will because they're actually asking people to volunteer to be layed off for the summer, we're so over staffed!) i could go fruit picking. no rent or leases to worry about at all.
maybe i can pitch a tent in your yard for a while?
i just really loved living with these girls and i'm so sad to see it ending. i still want to have a Family to live with, and i don't know that i'll find it again.
if you know of anyone cool looking for a housemate, let me know.
jesus christ i need to sleep. awake for work in four and half hours!
love,
laryssa.
PS this all fucking sucks but really i'm lucky. i have wonderful supportive friends and talking this out with some has cushioned this.
it sucks. i'm really sad. i feel so rejected, and i'm uncomfortable about all of this. i didn't handle it very well, either - we had a house meeting about it tonight, and after i'd said all i was willing to say i just got quiet, then up and left during the attempted casual conversation after. i've been largely holed up in my room since then.
it came up that it's a problem that i bring too many friends over and that doesn't work for everyone here. this is valid in a way - i don't mind houseguests. it's never an issue for me. i don't care who's here so long as they're nice and my room is still mine. not everyone works like that, though, and i've definitely felt uneasy about having friends over on the grounds that i may be stepping on other people's toes. i don't like feeling like that - it's my home too. i'm careful to give notice and get the go ahead if i'll be having guests over, with some scattered forgettings over time. perhaps, it's suggested, i'm not suited to living in an environment with people who need their space as much as my roommates do. okay. that's probably true.
i feel i've been singled out, though, in this respect and overall as a cause of problems, and it's pretty hard to deal with. it's also strange that two of my three roommates have decided to move in together, and the other two of us are on our own. Rejection. so i'm not sure where i'll go. i do have some friends that are away for the summer and will be looking for a new place when they return...i suppose i have prospects but everything is completely up in the air.
maybe, maybe, if my work will give me the time off (which they probably will because they're actually asking people to volunteer to be layed off for the summer, we're so over staffed!) i could go fruit picking. no rent or leases to worry about at all.
maybe i can pitch a tent in your yard for a while?
i just really loved living with these girls and i'm so sad to see it ending. i still want to have a Family to live with, and i don't know that i'll find it again.
if you know of anyone cool looking for a housemate, let me know.
jesus christ i need to sleep. awake for work in four and half hours!
love,
laryssa.
PS this all fucking sucks but really i'm lucky. i have wonderful supportive friends and talking this out with some has cushioned this.