I know this Ljournal doesn't know the whole story ... but you can start here.

[_lifeworthlivin]

I still find myself thinking of him with every sunrise and dreaming of him with every sunset. He is the context of my thoughts during the day and what I am writing about right now. He was my love, he is my love, he will always be my love, I am just no longer his (if I ever was).
I don't waste my days wondering if he thinks of me or trying to figure out the day when he will want to love me again because that day may never come. So I live in the moment. in every embrace, in every wink, every smile and even those kisses he will sinfully sneak even when I am pulling away in fear that that kiss will take me back to a place I don't want to go to, a place where I am vulnerable.

I get caught up in his hellos. Something so simple, has a complex way of fucking with my head.
I've gotten so good at convincing my mind that he doesnt deserve me and that if he were to knock on my door right now and ask for my heart back I would be able to say no.
In other words I've gotten good at lieing to myself. I think you and I both know that if he were to knock on my door right now and give me his love, I would bake us all a celebration cake!
I'm not afraid to admit my weakness, my guilty pleasure, my dirty little secret. You know what they say "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."
Everyone deserves a second change, even bastards!

I love closure!