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[wolfedman]

"We have to go. Sunnydale Memorial."On hearing those words my mind goes into automatic. I check my pocket to make sure I have my keys, open the front door, and head to the van. Willow follows quickly, not saying another word but I can tell it's bad and not just the normal Sunnydale Memorial bad

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[frisky_watcher]

I sighed and ushered her to the family room Wesley of course following. I shut the door and turned to Joyce removing my glasses to rub the bridge of my nose.

"Alright, you say you want the truth."

I said softly as I pondered how to best break the truth to her.

"When Buffy and I arrived back at the school she informed me that she didn't care what Willow wanted, that she was to kill Angelus and make him pay."

I said simply

"I attempted to stop her and as you can see by the now purple area on my face she didn't agree with my decision."

[eternally_ozs]

I followed them all into the room just in time for Giles to say that Angelus raped me. Gee thanks Giles, lets be in full share mode.

"No, it wasn't him remember"

I gave him a look saying shut up already...he didn't get it.

"It was someone else"

[frisky_watcher]

"Now Willow, you know full well that you have never been good at keeping secrets, so please don't try now when your emotions are already a mess."

I said a bit irritated.

"She deserves to know, and she deserves the truth, which all of you deserve. I will say that anything related to Buffy and her calling are now in the hands of Wesley here, I have been relieved of my duties as Buffy's watcher, and Wesley has been placed in charge"

I couldn't help but think that this was almost laughable if it weren't so tragic.

[wesleywpryce]

I bite my lip. Willow was raped by Angelus? Buffy hit Giles? Oh dear, this is more than I was ever prepared for. "Yes, well, as soon as Buffy is fully recovered, we will discuss her rash behaviour." I say lamely. I swallow hard. "I would be most grateful for any assistance you can give me Mr. Giles." I state quietly, realizing that I may not be able to handle this assignment as well as I had first believed. I am deeply ashamed to admit it, graduating top in my class and all, but clearly there are darker forces at work here than I can control on my own. I hope Mr. Giles will allow the possibility.

[slaymomjoyce]

"Angelus?" I said. "Angelus as in Angel?" I felt my heart about to stop in my chest. Suddenly, I was light headed and had to sit down before I fainted.

"Oh God...he raped Willow and now this? What did he do to Buffy? Is she going to be okay?" I then realized that he was covered in blood and that red was not the color of his shirt. My face went white.

I was still addressing Giles. I didn't know Wesley and frankly didn't care much for him at the moment. How dare he remove Giles and take over as Buffy's watcher.

I put a hand to my head and closed my eyes. What I wouldn't do for a drink right now. "Please just tell me she isn't going to die, Giles. Please. I'm sorry about your face, I can't believe she did that to you."

[frisky_watcher]

"First of all please Joyce breath

[eternally_ozs]

"Wait..lets back up here, your telling me you have been fired?"

I ask even though it isn't the proper time to get into something like this.

"Sorry, that isn't the point is it?"

I sighed

"She will be ok...right she has to be ok"

I said as I looked to Oz for comformation.

[wolfedman]

"Sorry, playing catch up here, Willow only told me we needed to be here. Buffy's hurt. Buffy, who I was worried about but you and Willow said she wouldn't get herself killed, and she almost has. She still might." I say angrily. I'm more angry at myself for listening to them telling me that Buffy would be okay.

"Do you still want his soul returned now?" I ask Willow pointedly, knowing that Angelus almost killing her best friend will hurt her more than anything he could do to her personally.

[eternally_ozs]

I turn to Oz my eyes wide, he has never spoken this pointedly before much less to me.

"Do you want him let off easy? To have a free ride to the hell that he longs for? You would just be giving him what he wants instead of punishing him. I want him to pay for what he did to me, to pay for ripping me apart inside, for drinking from me, I want him to pay for trying to kill Buffy, and I know the only way he would get the punishment that he so richly deserves is to be given his soul back, to have to see what he has done to those who Angel himself loved."

[slaymomjoyce]

I stood up, even more confused now. "STOP. What are you talking about, he lost his soul? And that did what, made him? I don't understand, we are talking about the same person, right?"

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Why I couldn't I have a normal daughter who sneaks out to see boys and buys too many clothes and talks back to me? Why did I have to have one who kills vampires for a living, if you can call that a living.

"I'm so lost." I stopped for a moment, then went on, "When she wakes up, she's going to be scared, she doesn't like hospitals." I reverted back to what I did know about my own child, it was the only thing I could do right now besides go stark raving mad.

[frisky_watcher]

I sighed and attempted one last time

"Angel and Angelus are the same man in the manner that they both share a body. Without a soul Angel reverts to one of the worst killers in history, which means with a soul he suffers immense pain for what Angelus has done, without the soul he doesn't care. Willow wants to give his soul back, make Angel pay daily for the atrocities that Angelus has caused. I just wish we knew a way to make that soul permanant."

[wolfedman]

My hand reaches out for Willow. I don't like arguing with her, and if she wants to restore Angel's soul I'm going to do everything I can to help her but I still think he's getting off lightly.

"Maybe Jenny will know. She knows the curse right, maybe she knows a way to make it permanent."

[wesleywpryce]

I nod to him grimly. "I'm going to. There is much more going on here then I was led to believe. Clearly without your assistance, I can't do the kind of good I had hoped. I can't imagine why they let me come in here blind. I thought the Council always knew what they were doing? Now..." I hate this trickle of doubt. Everything is upside down in Sunnydale, crazed, frenzied. Nothing like England, nothing controlled or understandable. I pull out my cell phone. "Excuse me for a moment." I tell the collected group,though nobody cares. I walk away several feet and call Mr. Traver's number.

[eternally_ozs]

I felt bad for this new guy, he didn't have a clue of what all was going on.

"He doesn't seem that bad"

I whisper to Oz.

"Ok so are we agreed? And for that matter have we heard a thing about if Buffy is ok?"

[slaymomjoyce]

I felt like I was having a breakdown. I only about half heard them as I thought about Buffy, struggling for life, because of a person who's not himself and decided to try and put a stake through her.

I couldn't help but wonder, what if she's okay? What if she recovers just to have someone else put a stake through her or kill her in her some other way? Was I just kidding myself that I might become a grandmother one day, that maybe she'll take care of me when I'm too old to do it myself?

Then I heard Willow ask about hearing if Buffy is okay. "Somebody should come tell us something, dammit."

[wesleywpryce]

I hang up the phone angrily. Damn Mr. Travers! The Watcher's Council dodged all my requests and ultimately offered no help. Well, fine. I shall speak to Mr. Giles alone, see if I can convince him to work with me, in an effort to save these children from the fiends of Hell that continue to plague this borough. I walk back to the group and wait for news about Buffy.