(no subject)
"He bit you?"
I nod but don't make eye contact with him. The pain in his eyes was becoming too much to bear. I know he was only worried because he cares for me, I just don't like to see anyone else in pain because of me. I finally started to doze off, my body relaxed against the one person I trusted more than anything right now.
I couldn't explain how I was feeling to anyone who had never had this happen to them before. The feelings of just wanting to die, just to make the pain and thoughts of what happened end and the feelings of fear of the people that I used to trust with my life. I know that they couldn't and wouldn't hurt me, but something in me still feared them.
I was finally almost asleep when I heard a door slam and I jumped about a mile and let out a yelp. Oz held me firmly to him trying to calm me, but the shaking that had finally subsided once again returned. That was not all that returned, the tears that once burned my eyes and glistened my cheeks also returned and in full force. This was not a feeling I wanted to get used to or just deal with, I wanted these feelings to leave, to head for the hills and never return.
Oz was desperatly trying to calm me, letting me know that it was most likely Buffy coming home from patrol, but I still shuddered in fear. I finally looked up into Oz's eyes and could see that he was not just trying to calm me down with lies. What he said had no ulterior motive behind it, it wasn't to shut me up...he really did want to see me happy again. I just wish I knew what that was anymore.
"What was that"
I finally asked looking to Oz to tell me what had just happened.
[[open for Oz and Buffy when Buffy is done with Spike]]
I nod but don't make eye contact with him. The pain in his eyes was becoming too much to bear. I know he was only worried because he cares for me, I just don't like to see anyone else in pain because of me. I finally started to doze off, my body relaxed against the one person I trusted more than anything right now.
I couldn't explain how I was feeling to anyone who had never had this happen to them before. The feelings of just wanting to die, just to make the pain and thoughts of what happened end and the feelings of fear of the people that I used to trust with my life. I know that they couldn't and wouldn't hurt me, but something in me still feared them.
I was finally almost asleep when I heard a door slam and I jumped about a mile and let out a yelp. Oz held me firmly to him trying to calm me, but the shaking that had finally subsided once again returned. That was not all that returned, the tears that once burned my eyes and glistened my cheeks also returned and in full force. This was not a feeling I wanted to get used to or just deal with, I wanted these feelings to leave, to head for the hills and never return.
Oz was desperatly trying to calm me, letting me know that it was most likely Buffy coming home from patrol, but I still shuddered in fear. I finally looked up into Oz's eyes and could see that he was not just trying to calm me down with lies. What he said had no ulterior motive behind it, it wasn't to shut me up...he really did want to see me happy again. I just wish I knew what that was anymore.
"What was that"
I finally asked looking to Oz to tell me what had just happened.
[[open for Oz and Buffy when Buffy is done with Spike]]