i forgot about you once again

[_lgfuad_]

I always get really excited when I realize lj still exists. I never get on. I probably shouldn't. All it does is make me bitch and analyze life more than I already do which is plenty. I am so so so so...and I cannot stress enough...so sick of love. I know I will eventually hit that point in my life when I will not feel this way but for the time being all you single people praise the lord for the good aspects of it. Yes it is nice to have someone to hold you, be there when you cry, wake up next to you in the mornings, etc. but once they hurt you or you start to have at least some level of the inevitable jealousy and trust issue its really easy to wish you could realize its probably more trouble than its worth especially when you are so so young. I've spent most of my teen years trying to convince myself how "old" and grown up I was and now in the past few months I do the exact opposite. I am too young to deal with so many of the situations I am placed it. I need to get back to living one day at a time. I hate the part of me that is co-dependent because it causes me almost every problem I've ever had in relationships. The other part that causes the rest of the problems is the part of me that's borderline. I need to deal with my OWN life and my OWN situation before I can deal with someone elses. If someone can understand and support my situation that's fine but I'm sick of people telling me they support me and doing nothing about it.

I believe everything happens for a reason and while there are parts of me that feel what I am doing is the biggest mistake of my life I know that everything will work out in the end.

I'm ready to work on myself. Not on my relationships.

Now that I've been emo for the day I will name three positive things just to balance out the yin and yang of the universe...
1)I turn twenty one and start on my quarter sleeve in a week
2)I love living with Jason
3)I am drinking really good tea

Love to everyone one...I suppose I owe an explanation soon.