here's to you...
So thank god for russ's fucking entry
that was abso-fucking-lutely ri-damn-diculous. How old are we guys? When the hell did we all start acting like this. I remember a long time ago when we were all the best of friends and no one talked about anyone behind anyone else's back. I think it's a well known fact that we all talk about each other behind each other's back (except ashley I think.)
Ok...so the point of the other night. Yes...months ago when we first started talking about where we were going to go...misti did say straight up that she DID NOT want to go to 360. I said fine with me...i didn't care that much. However...I cannot control everyone else. It was fine with me if you didn't want to go...but it was not fine with everyone else and I have no control over that. Yes...I would have loved to have gone to 360 but misti would have hated it so I would have rather gone somewhere everyone could have been happy. Seeing as that can't happen because people have a lot of fucking trouble compromising...I think we should have gone somewhere where the largest number of people would have been happy or at least content.
I'm fucking done. I've talked to a few people about this and I honestly have not tried anymore for the past several months because I'm fucking sick of it. I tried so hard and went through so damn much to try to salvage what was left of some of these friendships and when you feel like you are the only one trying it's really hard to not get fed up and start talking behind backs like I'm a fucking twelve year old.
All I know is that someone who is really your friend might hurt you every once in a while...but if they are really your friend they WILL say they are sorry...show you they are sorry...and make and effort to try to make things better again. They will NOT hurt you over and over and over and fucking over again and not even acknowledge who is making the effort. My life is too short and way too damn busy to have friends that can hurt me worse than a boy can and then not even give a shit about it and not even give a shit when I forgive them and try to go on with it because I CAN forgive people and move on. The only way I hold a grudge is if someone is not letting me forgive them.
I refuse to be used anymore.
What the hell happened to us guys?
We either have to all come out in the open about what we think about each and everyone one of us or we are all going to have to get a divorce due to irreconcileable differences.
I honestly want to know what I do to. I could do this as a big lj post and write a little paragraph to each one of you saying what my likes/dislikes/and future outlook of the relationship is. But maybe I should keep that as a personal thing.
I think a big problem with all of us is this taking sides bullshit. If someone's not friends with someone then no one else can be friends with them either.
Do you remember what happened our senior year...let me lay this out for you
First, from what I understand, ashley and misti somehow got into some sort of altercation with malorie and malorie refused to talk to them. I still didn't have a problem with malorie, misti, or ashley so I was friends with all of them. Misti and ashley did not care that I was still friends with malorie but malorie thought for some reason that it was ok to sit in psychology everyday and say things about misti that NO ONE should ever say about anyone to me like I was supposed to agree with them and think it was ok for her to say them. Honestly the things she said were so fucking mean and disgusting...if misti were my archenemy I do not think it would have been ok for me to sit and listen to what she was saying. So...a few months went by...emily and I stuck by malorie when her ashley and misti were not talking...suddenly...they are all talking again.
A few weeks later...I hear from fucking FIVE...yes FIVE...white trash tumbleweed employees who do not KNOW ME...who know nothing about me...that my supposed BEST FRIEND who I GOT A JOB FOR AND BEGGED LAURA EVERY DAY FROM HER THIRD DAY OF STARTING NOT TO FIRE that she thinks I am a pice of shit slut...etc. DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FEELS? YOU STICK BY SOMEONE WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL AND THEN YOU HEAR THESE HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU FROM PEOPLE YOU HARDLY KNOW???
And then you know what happened that summer...I had no one? I really want to know right now what I did wrong? Was it because malorie didn't like me at the time? Was that why I only had ONE friend that summer and it wasn't even until the middle of july that I even had that one?!?!?!? DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FEELS ESPECIALLY WHEN NO ONE HAD EVER TOLD ME WHY?
HAVE I EVER HURT ANY OF YOU THAT BAD?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I honestly want to know. I know i cannot hold that against you guys and I do forgive you all for it but I do need a reason.
Not ONE of my friends came to my FUCKING GRADUATION AND IT WASN"T EVEN A BIG DEAL TO YOU ALL? AND I"M SORRY I DID THE IMMATURE THING AND DIDN"T COME TO ANY OF YOURS EITHER.
Have you ever had to sit and read everyones livejournal and read about all the fun they are having together and then not be invited to any of it?
When you do try to call them they "don't have time"
I'm sorry...if you can't tell I am so pissed. I am not pissed I guess I am just still broken hearted over it. I probably soubd like a goddman baby right now but I don't think I even got an I'm sorry for fucking ABANDONING you from but one or two of you.
All I want is an explanation and some enlightenment. If I did something to you to deserve that I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. I would NEVER want to hurt someone the way I got hurt then. and i need to know if I have done that...
Ok so here it goes...
I think if some of us just don't want to be friends anymore...we need to just be honest and quit hurting each other because it really sucks when you DREAD all getting together. I feel like I'm about to break up with my boyfriend (again)...
that's what our group has turned into...a bad relationship. Guys...we can fix it...but we have to WANT to fix it.
I can't type anymore right now...I guess we are all just going to have to handle this on a one on one basis because I know what I want...I just don't know about everyone else....
by the way
Merry Christmas
that was abso-fucking-lutely ri-damn-diculous. How old are we guys? When the hell did we all start acting like this. I remember a long time ago when we were all the best of friends and no one talked about anyone behind anyone else's back. I think it's a well known fact that we all talk about each other behind each other's back (except ashley I think.)
Ok...so the point of the other night. Yes...months ago when we first started talking about where we were going to go...misti did say straight up that she DID NOT want to go to 360. I said fine with me...i didn't care that much. However...I cannot control everyone else. It was fine with me if you didn't want to go...but it was not fine with everyone else and I have no control over that. Yes...I would have loved to have gone to 360 but misti would have hated it so I would have rather gone somewhere everyone could have been happy. Seeing as that can't happen because people have a lot of fucking trouble compromising...I think we should have gone somewhere where the largest number of people would have been happy or at least content.
I'm fucking done. I've talked to a few people about this and I honestly have not tried anymore for the past several months because I'm fucking sick of it. I tried so hard and went through so damn much to try to salvage what was left of some of these friendships and when you feel like you are the only one trying it's really hard to not get fed up and start talking behind backs like I'm a fucking twelve year old.
All I know is that someone who is really your friend might hurt you every once in a while...but if they are really your friend they WILL say they are sorry...show you they are sorry...and make and effort to try to make things better again. They will NOT hurt you over and over and over and fucking over again and not even acknowledge who is making the effort. My life is too short and way too damn busy to have friends that can hurt me worse than a boy can and then not even give a shit about it and not even give a shit when I forgive them and try to go on with it because I CAN forgive people and move on. The only way I hold a grudge is if someone is not letting me forgive them.
I refuse to be used anymore.
What the hell happened to us guys?
We either have to all come out in the open about what we think about each and everyone one of us or we are all going to have to get a divorce due to irreconcileable differences.
I honestly want to know what I do to. I could do this as a big lj post and write a little paragraph to each one of you saying what my likes/dislikes/and future outlook of the relationship is. But maybe I should keep that as a personal thing.
I think a big problem with all of us is this taking sides bullshit. If someone's not friends with someone then no one else can be friends with them either.
Do you remember what happened our senior year...let me lay this out for you
First, from what I understand, ashley and misti somehow got into some sort of altercation with malorie and malorie refused to talk to them. I still didn't have a problem with malorie, misti, or ashley so I was friends with all of them. Misti and ashley did not care that I was still friends with malorie but malorie thought for some reason that it was ok to sit in psychology everyday and say things about misti that NO ONE should ever say about anyone to me like I was supposed to agree with them and think it was ok for her to say them. Honestly the things she said were so fucking mean and disgusting...if misti were my archenemy I do not think it would have been ok for me to sit and listen to what she was saying. So...a few months went by...emily and I stuck by malorie when her ashley and misti were not talking...suddenly...they are all talking again.
A few weeks later...I hear from fucking FIVE...yes FIVE...white trash tumbleweed employees who do not KNOW ME...who know nothing about me...that my supposed BEST FRIEND who I GOT A JOB FOR AND BEGGED LAURA EVERY DAY FROM HER THIRD DAY OF STARTING NOT TO FIRE that she thinks I am a pice of shit slut...etc. DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FEELS? YOU STICK BY SOMEONE WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL AND THEN YOU HEAR THESE HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU FROM PEOPLE YOU HARDLY KNOW???
And then you know what happened that summer...I had no one? I really want to know right now what I did wrong? Was it because malorie didn't like me at the time? Was that why I only had ONE friend that summer and it wasn't even until the middle of july that I even had that one?!?!?!? DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FEELS ESPECIALLY WHEN NO ONE HAD EVER TOLD ME WHY?
HAVE I EVER HURT ANY OF YOU THAT BAD?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I honestly want to know. I know i cannot hold that against you guys and I do forgive you all for it but I do need a reason.
Not ONE of my friends came to my FUCKING GRADUATION AND IT WASN"T EVEN A BIG DEAL TO YOU ALL? AND I"M SORRY I DID THE IMMATURE THING AND DIDN"T COME TO ANY OF YOURS EITHER.
Have you ever had to sit and read everyones livejournal and read about all the fun they are having together and then not be invited to any of it?
When you do try to call them they "don't have time"
I'm sorry...if you can't tell I am so pissed. I am not pissed I guess I am just still broken hearted over it. I probably soubd like a goddman baby right now but I don't think I even got an I'm sorry for fucking ABANDONING you from but one or two of you.
All I want is an explanation and some enlightenment. If I did something to you to deserve that I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. I would NEVER want to hurt someone the way I got hurt then. and i need to know if I have done that...
Ok so here it goes...
I think if some of us just don't want to be friends anymore...we need to just be honest and quit hurting each other because it really sucks when you DREAD all getting together. I feel like I'm about to break up with my boyfriend (again)...
that's what our group has turned into...a bad relationship. Guys...we can fix it...but we have to WANT to fix it.
I can't type anymore right now...I guess we are all just going to have to handle this on a one on one basis because I know what I want...I just don't know about everyone else....
by the way
Merry Christmas