Bah!
SO, i went to kristas yesterday cause it was out 6 monthaversary, im sure you all know. It was a blast, though her little brother was slighly annoing at times. but its totally worth seein her. Anywho, my best frined Scott called her about 6 times while i was there... i didnt like that too much, and she told me not to worry about it and that i could trust her and everyhting..i wish it were that easy, i wish i could justn ot give a fuck about some things once in a while. I'd be alot happier then.
Anyway, i left around 10 and just about as soon as i got home i went online and krista was there. that was cool. So i talked to her for a little bit and asked if scott had called back and she said no and that she didnt call him.....Well, then he signed on line for a few minutes. talked to her and signed off to call her... :(
I dunno what they were talking about, but it mustve been good whatever it was cause she wasnt saying anything to me online. and actually at this point i didnt even know he was talking to her on the phone. When i asked her where he went she just said "Hes on the phone" i didnt think it was her phone he was on. I didnt actually put it all together till i asked her why shes bein so quiet and she told me she was still on the phone...
After id realized who she was talking to (cause i asked her) I told her i didnt liek that much. and she said she knew that.
I was under the impression that when i talked to her about him kissing her that she wasnt going to keep talking to him. I dunno where i got that idea.. Maybe it was when she said "Fuck Scott" or after i told her that if things were to get better between her and i, that i didnt really want her talking to scott, even if it took a little while to grow distant. He called her that night and i thought everyhtign was taken care of. Apparently not.
So i kinda basically told her last night that i didnt want her talking to him. I feel like a loser now cause i dont want to ever tell her what she can and can not do or who she can or can not talk to. Regardless of what i say, she can still do whatever she wants, theres nothing i can really do about it.
The pont is though, he tried to kiss her twice. and was succesful at doing so only a few weeks ago. And it kills me to know that she still could talk to him after that. I told her that i just assumed she would take the initiative and stop talking ot him cause im sure she has even the slightest hinch that it bothers me... i mean, if i knew i was bothering her, even the smallest bit, and there was something i could do about it. i would. Anyway, before i get myself all depressed.
She told me last night that she would call him today and end things with him completely, Except that didnt make me feel much better, cause now shes a mess. and i hate that. Before i found anyhting out, it was only me that felt like shit, and i can deal with that, i dont want her to be sad ever. i hate scott. hes screwing things up between krista and I, and shes letting him. theres no way she feels for me what i feel for her.
Hopefully it'll be over soon... theres nothing i want to do more right now then to tell her that its fine and she can talk to him, causew what can happen over the phone... but thsts how it started in the first place. And i always go back on my word once other people start getting hurt. And im not going to this time. This is it. she has to choose. Theres nothing i want more than to be with her. But im not gonna suffer for her anymore. Not because of him anyway.
i dunno, my aunts here ot pick me up now so i can see my cuz for awhile. I really hop she calls him. I just want this to be over so i can stop posting in this stupid journal.
I need some advice form you peoples. so give me some. please
and krista, i love you, you know that. I dont want you to be sad anymore. But like i said last night, everyhtignsi n your hands. i love you with all my heart
Anyway, i left around 10 and just about as soon as i got home i went online and krista was there. that was cool. So i talked to her for a little bit and asked if scott had called back and she said no and that she didnt call him.....Well, then he signed on line for a few minutes. talked to her and signed off to call her... :(
I dunno what they were talking about, but it mustve been good whatever it was cause she wasnt saying anything to me online. and actually at this point i didnt even know he was talking to her on the phone. When i asked her where he went she just said "Hes on the phone" i didnt think it was her phone he was on. I didnt actually put it all together till i asked her why shes bein so quiet and she told me she was still on the phone...
After id realized who she was talking to (cause i asked her) I told her i didnt liek that much. and she said she knew that.
I was under the impression that when i talked to her about him kissing her that she wasnt going to keep talking to him. I dunno where i got that idea.. Maybe it was when she said "Fuck Scott" or after i told her that if things were to get better between her and i, that i didnt really want her talking to scott, even if it took a little while to grow distant. He called her that night and i thought everyhtign was taken care of. Apparently not.
So i kinda basically told her last night that i didnt want her talking to him. I feel like a loser now cause i dont want to ever tell her what she can and can not do or who she can or can not talk to. Regardless of what i say, she can still do whatever she wants, theres nothing i can really do about it.
The pont is though, he tried to kiss her twice. and was succesful at doing so only a few weeks ago. And it kills me to know that she still could talk to him after that. I told her that i just assumed she would take the initiative and stop talking ot him cause im sure she has even the slightest hinch that it bothers me... i mean, if i knew i was bothering her, even the smallest bit, and there was something i could do about it. i would. Anyway, before i get myself all depressed.
She told me last night that she would call him today and end things with him completely, Except that didnt make me feel much better, cause now shes a mess. and i hate that. Before i found anyhting out, it was only me that felt like shit, and i can deal with that, i dont want her to be sad ever. i hate scott. hes screwing things up between krista and I, and shes letting him. theres no way she feels for me what i feel for her.
Hopefully it'll be over soon... theres nothing i want to do more right now then to tell her that its fine and she can talk to him, causew what can happen over the phone... but thsts how it started in the first place. And i always go back on my word once other people start getting hurt. And im not going to this time. This is it. she has to choose. Theres nothing i want more than to be with her. But im not gonna suffer for her anymore. Not because of him anyway.
i dunno, my aunts here ot pick me up now so i can see my cuz for awhile. I really hop she calls him. I just want this to be over so i can stop posting in this stupid journal.
I need some advice form you peoples. so give me some. please
and krista, i love you, you know that. I dont want you to be sad anymore. But like i said last night, everyhtignsi n your hands. i love you with all my heart