2005 was a joke.
I wrote this almost two years ago and only wish I could have saved myself the bullshit and taken myself seriously for one time in my life. I knew then what I know now and its my own damn fault.
From the first time we ever had that conversation I knew what was going to happen. It was September 8th. I told you I didn't think I could do this anymore. You said what I've come so used to hearing, "you expect too much". I've never seen anyone cry like the way I saw you cry. You ran to your room and to the bed you hadn't slept in for weeks. I remember how bad you were shaking and how I just sat there doing nothing. To my surprise, when I went to hold you you didn't push me away... you just held me tighter. And a thousand times in one breath you made the empty promise that you'd be better, but when you said you loved me I trusted it more than I've ever trusted anything.
After our first argument I knew it right away. That day I wrote to you a letter no different than this, the kind with everything I always wanted you to know but never intended to send. In those next few weeks I learned something that to this day I can't accept. In so many ways, you were every guy I'd ever dated. I've never been with someone who was willing to put up the same fight as I was. Just like them, you gave up long before we reached the end. Every excuse you could make I heard and tried with everything I had to rationalize. To this day it kills me. I can't honestly say that a day has gone by where I dont think of that night, that promise and how angry and resentful of a person it has made me. I wanted more than I've ever wanted anything for us to work. We weren't supposed to end up like this.
From the first time we ever had that conversation I knew what was going to happen. It was September 8th. I told you I didn't think I could do this anymore. You said what I've come so used to hearing, "you expect too much". I've never seen anyone cry like the way I saw you cry. You ran to your room and to the bed you hadn't slept in for weeks. I remember how bad you were shaking and how I just sat there doing nothing. To my surprise, when I went to hold you you didn't push me away... you just held me tighter. And a thousand times in one breath you made the empty promise that you'd be better, but when you said you loved me I trusted it more than I've ever trusted anything.
After our first argument I knew it right away. That day I wrote to you a letter no different than this, the kind with everything I always wanted you to know but never intended to send. In those next few weeks I learned something that to this day I can't accept. In so many ways, you were every guy I'd ever dated. I've never been with someone who was willing to put up the same fight as I was. Just like them, you gave up long before we reached the end. Every excuse you could make I heard and tried with everything I had to rationalize. To this day it kills me. I can't honestly say that a day has gone by where I dont think of that night, that promise and how angry and resentful of a person it has made me. I wanted more than I've ever wanted anything for us to work. We weren't supposed to end up like this.