Most people are not beautiful
I know I deserve better. Kindly explain to me why certain people can say exactly what they think you want to hear and continue to live their lives somehow forgetting they ever said anything at all, yet I'm unable to do the same? I'm unable to continue to live my life without forgetting a single word spoken. Could this really be true? Could I really be rehashing old feelings and emotions because it was never my choice in the first place to give up? It's such an incredibly disappointing feeling when you literally spend all of your time in your head searching for answers...answers that either aren't meant to be found or the worse of the two evils...answers hidden so deep because you aren't willing to accept them for exactly what they are. Maybe the answers I've been searching for have been there all along and I'm the one keeping myself from seeing the truth. Maybe your truth and mine are as different now as they were then. I rationalize, over analyze and try to read between your encryptions, feelings shouldn't need passwords or unlock keys. When feelings are true and honest they're bold they're underlined they're out of a damn billboard for the other person to see, not to question. See, if someone is worth fighting for you get your ass up and you fight, you never back down and you don't let them walk away. I got a 284 miles and 13 hours head start, walking back to what should have been normalcy; but what's normal anyway? Well normal for one isn't me right now. Isn't this situation, this moment in time that if I didn't know better I would swear I've lived it a million times over. When is enough truly enough? When does what I want, what I think, the ways I feel, my voice ever come into play? I guess in a series of unfortunate events, I realize that time now. "Most people are not beautiful, we are messy & complicated and do things we shouldn't."