You'll Make It Through This And You'll See....
You're still around to write this letter to me
So, I'm reading through my old LJ entries and I came across a few things I said that were funny, or ironic, based on what I know now...
- Matt's working at Millers, it's a cute fun breakfast in the morning, swanky dinner in the evening type place. He does really well (has to wear a tie its SO cute hehehehe) he makes an average of like $100 a night ($200 on a good one)... I KNOW... makes you want to try waitering...lol
-I feel like I deserve to work hard and get good grades because I'm paying for it myself. I think that might be one of my prouder moments of my young life. Being able to put myself through college.
-(Under a list of "what i wish i couldn't do) -be stuck in Maryland forever
- I also have a $17,000 loan to pay off myself. Along with food and gas and clothing. If at all possible, the rest is to be saved for my wedding. (this was in 2007....)
-Matt and I has our 3rd Anniversary on September 14th, and he got me a COACH BAG. And it's huge and real and amazing and beautiful... let's not talk about what I got him. It's the thought that counts....
-Ok, so I just spilled a little bit.... of my coffee on the library computer, and I had to run to the starbucks to get some napkins.. but there was no scene, and no one looked at me or asked if anything was wrong. Because I am so good at keeping cool when I spill things.... especailly on computers.... because I do it.... alot....
(i was just warning one of my tables thismorning -who had a laptop on the table- to not let me go near it with a tray of drinks because of my notorious electronic-drink-spilling)
-Basicly my life is: shower, class, eat, class, read script, vocal practice, [enter gym here when I'm not a lazy fatty], sleep. (I liked the lazy fatty part.... lol)
-"math was easy" "i finished that test in 15 minutes without a calculator" "finished the exam in under an hour"
-I MISS EVERYONE- (pretty much in every entry)
This is so bizzare... as I'm reading this, I know exactly where I was and what I was doing, and exactly what the hell I was rambling on about all the time.... and then I get hungry and walk into my kitchen and it's two years later... and i can't beleive how much has changed...
I would love to have told myself not to worry so much about school and 'the future'. It all went to hell anyhow, so I really shouldn't have stressed so much about it. I wouldn't however, tell myself to not have even bothered, because college is an experience only a 20 year old can appreciate. Even if I go back, it would never be the way it was. Dorms and late nights are memories so priceless, and it makes me so sad to know it will never come back. I was either really cheerful about accomplishing things and being productive, or very moody and doubtful about my life and future. I was always getting sick, and I always missed someone...
Right now, I'm sitting in the guestroom of my and Matt's 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house on stilts with half of our windows viewing some kind of water. The breeze is really nice and Bear is sniffing the air by sticking his nose out of the window with no screen. Tippy is sleeping in the sunroom. I'm working at Millers for breakfasts, which I love. I get alot of walking done, have fun with the girls I work with, make alot of money, and walk outta there before noon. I also picked up a part time job at Starbucks (the only one within an hour and a half of here). I didn't have to go through any of that boring training, and all the girls there are really nice too. (I work nights there since Matt works nights at Millers). I only get paid $7 an hour, which is laughable compared to what I make waiting tables, but I am working on getting health insurance from working there, so that's the main reason (I pretty much make enough at millers for everything to get paid for).
People are starting to flock back to OBX which means more traffic and less frozen items in the Food Lion... and no turning left anywhere....
I haven't really developed any new hobbies or special skills... I haven't even been workingon my scrapbook (which already has all the pictures in each slot, awaiting my cut and paste skillz (<-- note the z = means lots of skills).
It's so weird that the two people (this doesn't include matt) that I talked to and ate with almost everyday at Towson, are two people that I haven't talked to in months...
We haven't talked about the wedding much since it makes us nervous about our money situation (matt ows so much in taxes-- basically what I got back, I'm giving to him to pay off his...) so the name of the game is "make money- work work work!!!", then when we've got more than three digits in our bank account, and all of our 'didn't have money during the winter so nothing got paid for' bills, we can talk about it again.
5 months!! It's gonna go by so fast... I couldn't be more excited. Our friends at Millers already call us "the mrs." and "hubby", and I really love it. No cold feet here!!! I'm not sure about anything in my whole life except that I want to spend my whole life with him...
OK MUSH IS OVER. Sorry guys, I got carried away....
My muscles are finally not as in pain as they were the first few days of working both Starbys and Millers... between my legs running miles in the morning, lifting trays and juggling gallons of milk at starbucks, I'm gonna be buff by the end of the summer.... lol.... who are we kidding... I just ate 4 peanutbutter chocolate chip cookies... and that's never gonna change...
I cleaned out a new fridge after we closed thismorning, and my hands STILL smell like bleach... I've washed my hands like 5 times with different soaps... and it STILL. SMELLS. LIKE. BLEACH. EW.
If I've learned one thing from Millers, it's that, people will notice if you'r busy, and they understand, theres no need to rush, just get things done in the manner that they came to you, and everything will get done in time. So, I'm kind of living my life like that right now, just take things as they come, and people can wait (people- bill collectors....?) and to not stress over not doing things fast enough...
I'm comming to terms with never really getting a 'real job' as everyone has been putting it... I'd rather work a job that get's me tons of money before noon, and winters off, than worry about getting a sitter from 9-5.... and I'd rather hate my job (which i dont-- most of the time :P) and go home to a wonderful husband and kids, than love my job that I worked so hard to get... and risk ruining my home life... PLUS. Life's too short to plan 30 years ahead all the time....
It's so much different down here... everyone we know has kids, or hasn't finished high school or been to college, so, we're the smart ones, sort of... and having babies and getting married is the next logical step... I get dizzy and it's "oh! are you pregnant!?" ...
It's not like up in Metropolitan world in MD, where it's all about the jobs and the salary and the college education.... and having babies and getting married is almost a horrible curse that prevents you from suceeding... "oh no! you arn't pregnant are you?!?!"
I get all weepy when i see a cute fat baby on tv... I think I'm 35... and no one knows it... not even me.... but I want to be preggers with all my friends, instead of it being like "Oh... yeah, that emily girl... she had a baby, and i dunno what she's been up to for the last 3 years..." or "ugh, we can hang out with emily, but she either has to bring that dumb baby with her, or be home by 6..." I mean it's not happening soon, but it's not gonna be in a really long time... i dunno. (mantra from Jenn-- matt's aunt: wedding first!!)
So... the past two years have gone from a girl who was performing regularly, while living at school and taking classes, staying up late, getting chinese at 3 am, hanging out with friends and thinking of graduation and jobs... To a girl who's living at the beach, just making money and living with her fiancee, grocery shopping once a week and paying bills, dinner by the TV and planning a wedding.
...
You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life
I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can
And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
I wish you'd study Spanish
I wish you'd take a typing class
I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be
I'd say have a little faith and you'll see
If I could write a letter to me
Letter to me- Brad Paisley
...
So, I'm reading through my old LJ entries and I came across a few things I said that were funny, or ironic, based on what I know now...
- Matt's working at Millers, it's a cute fun breakfast in the morning, swanky dinner in the evening type place. He does really well (has to wear a tie its SO cute hehehehe) he makes an average of like $100 a night ($200 on a good one)... I KNOW... makes you want to try waitering...lol
-I feel like I deserve to work hard and get good grades because I'm paying for it myself. I think that might be one of my prouder moments of my young life. Being able to put myself through college.
-(Under a list of "what i wish i couldn't do) -be stuck in Maryland forever
- I also have a $17,000 loan to pay off myself. Along with food and gas and clothing. If at all possible, the rest is to be saved for my wedding. (this was in 2007....)
-Matt and I has our 3rd Anniversary on September 14th, and he got me a COACH BAG. And it's huge and real and amazing and beautiful... let's not talk about what I got him. It's the thought that counts....
-Ok, so I just spilled a little bit.... of my coffee on the library computer, and I had to run to the starbucks to get some napkins.. but there was no scene, and no one looked at me or asked if anything was wrong. Because I am so good at keeping cool when I spill things.... especailly on computers.... because I do it.... alot....
(i was just warning one of my tables thismorning -who had a laptop on the table- to not let me go near it with a tray of drinks because of my notorious electronic-drink-spilling)
-Basicly my life is: shower, class, eat, class, read script, vocal practice, [enter gym here when I'm not a lazy fatty], sleep. (I liked the lazy fatty part.... lol)
-"math was easy" "i finished that test in 15 minutes without a calculator" "finished the exam in under an hour"
-I MISS EVERYONE- (pretty much in every entry)
This is so bizzare... as I'm reading this, I know exactly where I was and what I was doing, and exactly what the hell I was rambling on about all the time.... and then I get hungry and walk into my kitchen and it's two years later... and i can't beleive how much has changed...
I would love to have told myself not to worry so much about school and 'the future'. It all went to hell anyhow, so I really shouldn't have stressed so much about it. I wouldn't however, tell myself to not have even bothered, because college is an experience only a 20 year old can appreciate. Even if I go back, it would never be the way it was. Dorms and late nights are memories so priceless, and it makes me so sad to know it will never come back. I was either really cheerful about accomplishing things and being productive, or very moody and doubtful about my life and future. I was always getting sick, and I always missed someone...
Right now, I'm sitting in the guestroom of my and Matt's 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house on stilts with half of our windows viewing some kind of water. The breeze is really nice and Bear is sniffing the air by sticking his nose out of the window with no screen. Tippy is sleeping in the sunroom. I'm working at Millers for breakfasts, which I love. I get alot of walking done, have fun with the girls I work with, make alot of money, and walk outta there before noon. I also picked up a part time job at Starbucks (the only one within an hour and a half of here). I didn't have to go through any of that boring training, and all the girls there are really nice too. (I work nights there since Matt works nights at Millers). I only get paid $7 an hour, which is laughable compared to what I make waiting tables, but I am working on getting health insurance from working there, so that's the main reason (I pretty much make enough at millers for everything to get paid for).
People are starting to flock back to OBX which means more traffic and less frozen items in the Food Lion... and no turning left anywhere....
I haven't really developed any new hobbies or special skills... I haven't even been workingon my scrapbook (which already has all the pictures in each slot, awaiting my cut and paste skillz (<-- note the z = means lots of skills).
It's so weird that the two people (this doesn't include matt) that I talked to and ate with almost everyday at Towson, are two people that I haven't talked to in months...
We haven't talked about the wedding much since it makes us nervous about our money situation (matt ows so much in taxes-- basically what I got back, I'm giving to him to pay off his...) so the name of the game is "make money- work work work!!!", then when we've got more than three digits in our bank account, and all of our 'didn't have money during the winter so nothing got paid for' bills, we can talk about it again.
5 months!! It's gonna go by so fast... I couldn't be more excited. Our friends at Millers already call us "the mrs." and "hubby", and I really love it. No cold feet here!!! I'm not sure about anything in my whole life except that I want to spend my whole life with him...
OK MUSH IS OVER. Sorry guys, I got carried away....
My muscles are finally not as in pain as they were the first few days of working both Starbys and Millers... between my legs running miles in the morning, lifting trays and juggling gallons of milk at starbucks, I'm gonna be buff by the end of the summer.... lol.... who are we kidding... I just ate 4 peanutbutter chocolate chip cookies... and that's never gonna change...
I cleaned out a new fridge after we closed thismorning, and my hands STILL smell like bleach... I've washed my hands like 5 times with different soaps... and it STILL. SMELLS. LIKE. BLEACH. EW.
If I've learned one thing from Millers, it's that, people will notice if you'r busy, and they understand, theres no need to rush, just get things done in the manner that they came to you, and everything will get done in time. So, I'm kind of living my life like that right now, just take things as they come, and people can wait (people- bill collectors....?) and to not stress over not doing things fast enough...
I'm comming to terms with never really getting a 'real job' as everyone has been putting it... I'd rather work a job that get's me tons of money before noon, and winters off, than worry about getting a sitter from 9-5.... and I'd rather hate my job (which i dont-- most of the time :P) and go home to a wonderful husband and kids, than love my job that I worked so hard to get... and risk ruining my home life... PLUS. Life's too short to plan 30 years ahead all the time....
It's so much different down here... everyone we know has kids, or hasn't finished high school or been to college, so, we're the smart ones, sort of... and having babies and getting married is the next logical step... I get dizzy and it's "oh! are you pregnant!?" ...
It's not like up in Metropolitan world in MD, where it's all about the jobs and the salary and the college education.... and having babies and getting married is almost a horrible curse that prevents you from suceeding... "oh no! you arn't pregnant are you?!?!"
I get all weepy when i see a cute fat baby on tv... I think I'm 35... and no one knows it... not even me.... but I want to be preggers with all my friends, instead of it being like "Oh... yeah, that emily girl... she had a baby, and i dunno what she's been up to for the last 3 years..." or "ugh, we can hang out with emily, but she either has to bring that dumb baby with her, or be home by 6..." I mean it's not happening soon, but it's not gonna be in a really long time... i dunno. (mantra from Jenn-- matt's aunt: wedding first!!)
So... the past two years have gone from a girl who was performing regularly, while living at school and taking classes, staying up late, getting chinese at 3 am, hanging out with friends and thinking of graduation and jobs... To a girl who's living at the beach, just making money and living with her fiancee, grocery shopping once a week and paying bills, dinner by the TV and planning a wedding.
...
You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life
I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can
And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
I wish you'd study Spanish
I wish you'd take a typing class
I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be
I'd say have a little faith and you'll see
If I could write a letter to me
Letter to me- Brad Paisley
...