No More Lives Torn Apart
Ok. I will preface this entry by saying this isn't about me (and/or matt), so let's begin:
I'm so tired of relationships ending. Relationships that were supposed to be long-lasting. People promised things, and all of a sudden, things get too hard, and people quit. Now, let's get real people, 50% of all marriages fail... this either means, you shouldn't have gotten married to someone you obviously didn't love enough to try to make it work, OR your lazy and don't care.... 50%.... is just.. horrible... thats failing... as a country, when it comes to marriage, we fail. That also means that over 50% of all kids in america have to keep their things at two different houses, have two different christmases, have to watch their parents dateing other people and complain about the other parent and half of the kids in america have to face reality way before they need to. No 7 year old needs to know that true love doesn't end up happily ever after... I really think that divorce is a very selfish act. Most especially if you have kids. How can you be ok with fighting and ending your relationship around your kids, who believe in you and look up to you. It makes believing in love so much harder than it was before.
I can only remember one time in my whole life a dinner that involved me, both my parents and both of my brothers. One. Dinner. I know that when I get married next September, it will be forever. Not- until I get sick of you. Not- until this gets to hard. Not- until i get bored. FOR. EVER. Until death do us part. That's what we all promise. And if you don't mean it, don't do it. It's not just you that goes through a divorce, it's everyone around you. Trust me, it really hurt the first time, no one needs to go through it at all, let alone twice... And as far as long lasting (unmarried) relatonships go, it's equally discouraging to watch something thats been growing for years, and having plans for forever, just end. This year was not too good for alot of relationships I thought were strong. Relationships I looked up to, and then they just fall flat on their faces, and where does that leave me? To pick up all the pieces. Not, that I don't want to help them, it's just what I did with my parents divorce, and reliving it all again is so hard. So hard to believe in my own love, and my own walk down the isle that's happening in 9 months. Don't get me wrong, I love Matt, I'm so excited to be married to him and to spend my whole life with him, it's just, I've known alot of people who said that same thing... and 50% of america decided that it was all a lie.... Doesn't anyone stay in love anymore? *sigh*
Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream
So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree
Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list
What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd be)
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown up christmas list
-Kelly Clarkson (and others, it's a christmas song, so alot of people sing it...)