(no subject)
its when you lose connection to those people who made you happy that you lose self.
it make sense. friends' and family members' feelings for you show through simply being in their presense, and talking to them, having them talk to you, them writing to you.
its reaffirmation. emily wrote me a message on a myspace. more like a letter. a friend letter. i havent had one of those in awhile. and in undoubted fairness, i havent written anyone anything really. i wrote her a short message and she returns it with 3 times as much content.
she gave more than i gave. and i am truly grateful for that. its such a small thing to be grateful for which is why its embarrassing for anyone and especially her to read, but it meant a lot to me.
friends are really, an incredible thing. it makes me second guess if i should have left home. everything and everyone i loved. but many of my friends have left home too. to see what its like out here in "life country." so i suppose i really cant be blamed.
and i think if i continue to stay connected to the, the friends, and family that i had to realize i've loved so much, then i'll always know how much i can do. and who i am.
its in their eyes that i see their perception of me reflected back. i must admit, i think i've had some pretty good reflections (pun now intended).
but i think it is without a doubt i need to give more to my friends. i dont entirely know what that means, as it does seem that some people are used to the way things are now and are uncomfortable changing that. in other words, i dont want to impede.
this next part is gonna sound like something out of a day time talk show, but, i think i have to try to be a better friend to myself.....that is about the gayest thing i have EVER said. but thats okay. but by that i mean, consider how you treat your friends. when they're down, or have a problem or are pessmistic, negative, its almost the duty of the friend to say everything they can to reverse those feelings. its a duty. a duty to them. you owe it to the people you care about.
i think this happens on such a nearly instinctual level, that it is often over looked. i mean, WHY, are we so quick to help each other up. "because they're my friend and i care about them." thats not really a clear answer.
why does this mental process, as a good friend, happen so fast? You hear their problem entirely. take it all in. consider all the factors, and immediately start going to work to logically figure out why your friend is in a better position than they think, and also immediately start thinking about how they can make things better, or look at things from a better perspective. Why does this happen so fast?
ya know what? i thought by the time i clarified my question, i'd be able to figure out why. i mean yeah, words like love, compassion, come to mind, but nothing i can fully write about. these are all vague ideas of why this happens.nothing concrete, specific. so what does that mean? fuck it. enjoy the phenomenon of friendship.
maybe, for what its worth to anyone, my way of giving back are these corny, maybe too deep, too abstract lj entries. sometimes, i cant decide if i go to far. i can't decide if i want to make this public...........its really corny.............ahhh fuckit.
it make sense. friends' and family members' feelings for you show through simply being in their presense, and talking to them, having them talk to you, them writing to you.
its reaffirmation. emily wrote me a message on a myspace. more like a letter. a friend letter. i havent had one of those in awhile. and in undoubted fairness, i havent written anyone anything really. i wrote her a short message and she returns it with 3 times as much content.
she gave more than i gave. and i am truly grateful for that. its such a small thing to be grateful for which is why its embarrassing for anyone and especially her to read, but it meant a lot to me.
friends are really, an incredible thing. it makes me second guess if i should have left home. everything and everyone i loved. but many of my friends have left home too. to see what its like out here in "life country." so i suppose i really cant be blamed.
and i think if i continue to stay connected to the, the friends, and family that i had to realize i've loved so much, then i'll always know how much i can do. and who i am.
its in their eyes that i see their perception of me reflected back. i must admit, i think i've had some pretty good reflections (pun now intended).
but i think it is without a doubt i need to give more to my friends. i dont entirely know what that means, as it does seem that some people are used to the way things are now and are uncomfortable changing that. in other words, i dont want to impede.
this next part is gonna sound like something out of a day time talk show, but, i think i have to try to be a better friend to myself.....that is about the gayest thing i have EVER said. but thats okay. but by that i mean, consider how you treat your friends. when they're down, or have a problem or are pessmistic, negative, its almost the duty of the friend to say everything they can to reverse those feelings. its a duty. a duty to them. you owe it to the people you care about.
i think this happens on such a nearly instinctual level, that it is often over looked. i mean, WHY, are we so quick to help each other up. "because they're my friend and i care about them." thats not really a clear answer.
why does this mental process, as a good friend, happen so fast? You hear their problem entirely. take it all in. consider all the factors, and immediately start going to work to logically figure out why your friend is in a better position than they think, and also immediately start thinking about how they can make things better, or look at things from a better perspective. Why does this happen so fast?
ya know what? i thought by the time i clarified my question, i'd be able to figure out why. i mean yeah, words like love, compassion, come to mind, but nothing i can fully write about. these are all vague ideas of why this happens.nothing concrete, specific. so what does that mean? fuck it. enjoy the phenomenon of friendship.
maybe, for what its worth to anyone, my way of giving back are these corny, maybe too deep, too abstract lj entries. sometimes, i cant decide if i go to far. i can't decide if i want to make this public...........its really corny.............ahhh fuckit.