There's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last...
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So I've never been one who was too worried about saving face. I'm sure everyone has heard some rendition of what's going on in my life, albeit not from me, but I'm sure you've heard. I'm sure the lot of you have also formed your own opinions about me, and to that, I say okay, you're entitled to your beliefs. It hurts that a couple of people I considered friends have turned their backs to me, without so much as a conversation, but alas, such is life, and I'm over it. I don't want to sit here and write some spiel that will shed insight into why I've been acting the way I've been acting for the past year, or how people change, but I will say that for those of you who I'd like to imagine do/did know me, you'd know that I haven't been happy for a long time. I'm not saying that anyone is to blame here, just that somewhere along the way I had lost a bit of spark inside of myself, and this is the first time I've felt anything close to being alive in months. Forgive me for not being able to turn my back on that. I've been making lemonade for years now, for once I'd like to taste a fruit without the bitter after-math. I hope that in the weeks to come, the dust will settle and we can all find ourselves on some sort of common ground. I find it doubtful, but I tend to look at life a bit more hopeful these days. To those of you who have taken the time to stick by me, I know who you are, and even though I've been awfully flighty, it's noted, and you are appreciated. For those of you who've cast the first stone, you can keep trying to knock me down, but it's not going to work. We've grown apart and that's that. It's sad that you have nothing better to do with your lives than to latch on to the problems of two people that you consider/considered friends. This isn't High School. You don't have to choose sides to prove loyalty, and even if you felt compelled to do so, you didn't have to act so immaturely.
And to you, because you've made this such a public spectacle, I'll apologize on this forum. Life sort of tore us apart. I understand that you think I've lost my mind, and you know, maybe I have...but you know as well as I do that neither one of us was satisfied with where life was going, and I chose to play the hand I was dealt. My only regret is not being straight-forward from the get go, but in my defense, every time I tried, you shut me down, because you didn't want to face reality. I never wanted to hurt you, because despite everything you were my best friend. I'm really glad that you are talking to a new girl, and I know you don't believe me when I say this, but this is really good for you. I hope she can be everything that I never was, and I hope that all of your wildest dreams come true. Don't give up on living because you have a lot left in you. You will accomplish great things if you just start applying yourself. Listen to the positive and don't focus on what might have been. You have a lot of love to give, so don't shut the world out.
So in turn, I'm done with livejournal. If anyone has anything to say to me that they can't say to me in person or on the phone, feel free to comment. I'll be checking up on this for the next couple of days.
________________________________________________
So I've never been one who was too worried about saving face. I'm sure everyone has heard some rendition of what's going on in my life, albeit not from me, but I'm sure you've heard. I'm sure the lot of you have also formed your own opinions about me, and to that, I say okay, you're entitled to your beliefs. It hurts that a couple of people I considered friends have turned their backs to me, without so much as a conversation, but alas, such is life, and I'm over it. I don't want to sit here and write some spiel that will shed insight into why I've been acting the way I've been acting for the past year, or how people change, but I will say that for those of you who I'd like to imagine do/did know me, you'd know that I haven't been happy for a long time. I'm not saying that anyone is to blame here, just that somewhere along the way I had lost a bit of spark inside of myself, and this is the first time I've felt anything close to being alive in months. Forgive me for not being able to turn my back on that. I've been making lemonade for years now, for once I'd like to taste a fruit without the bitter after-math. I hope that in the weeks to come, the dust will settle and we can all find ourselves on some sort of common ground. I find it doubtful, but I tend to look at life a bit more hopeful these days. To those of you who have taken the time to stick by me, I know who you are, and even though I've been awfully flighty, it's noted, and you are appreciated. For those of you who've cast the first stone, you can keep trying to knock me down, but it's not going to work. We've grown apart and that's that. It's sad that you have nothing better to do with your lives than to latch on to the problems of two people that you consider/considered friends. This isn't High School. You don't have to choose sides to prove loyalty, and even if you felt compelled to do so, you didn't have to act so immaturely.
And to you, because you've made this such a public spectacle, I'll apologize on this forum. Life sort of tore us apart. I understand that you think I've lost my mind, and you know, maybe I have...but you know as well as I do that neither one of us was satisfied with where life was going, and I chose to play the hand I was dealt. My only regret is not being straight-forward from the get go, but in my defense, every time I tried, you shut me down, because you didn't want to face reality. I never wanted to hurt you, because despite everything you were my best friend. I'm really glad that you are talking to a new girl, and I know you don't believe me when I say this, but this is really good for you. I hope she can be everything that I never was, and I hope that all of your wildest dreams come true. Don't give up on living because you have a lot left in you. You will accomplish great things if you just start applying yourself. Listen to the positive and don't focus on what might have been. You have a lot of love to give, so don't shut the world out.
So in turn, I'm done with livejournal. If anyone has anything to say to me that they can't say to me in person or on the phone, feel free to comment. I'll be checking up on this for the next couple of days.