what i was trying to say yesterday...

[_lava_lava]

how come everything always has to go wrong at the worst possible time? so, tomorrow is prom and grim reaper day. the sadd team (which i am president of) has organized this day for what has seemed like an eternity. why is it today that people have to stop caring, and why is it today that people have to skip the only mandatory meeting we've ever had? and why is it today that i have to write a speech and a paper? and why is it today that remembering never has to come to johnstown? and why is it that stauffer calls and says he wants to get back together? and why is it that i had to say goodbye to mitch while i was choking back tears? why is capn' crunch the only solid food i've eaten in four days, and how come i've lost so much weight and look so pale now? how come its right now that i find myself rethinking every move i've made in the last year, and why is it that i realized i haven't felt this shitty since last january? this is the fucking worst possible to smear my eyeliner.
right now im' really wishing i just had one person i could call who i know cares, and would make me feel totally better about everything, but then i realized that the only person i have to call is fucking ammici's to make reservations for prom tomorrow, and i'm debating whether i even want to go, and i haven't dropped to my knees and prayed in almost a year.