(no subject)
im not sure whether this is really happening
or whether my head is whizzing all around
like one of those spinning tops we collected.
and i am tired of everything, but the swirling
mass of colour wont let me look away.
he is still holding on, i think.
but someone broke him & i don't have enough glue
to hold him together forever.
but then again, nothing is forever.
not even best friends.
i havent managed to sleep in three, four, five days
maybe because of the pills they gave me
to calm me down. not calm enough, though.
but now my body is somewhere else, and it can't
distract me from my mind.
thoughts of him lying there, all purple and still
are all i can remember right now,
like post-it notes attached to my eyeballs.
i wish i hadn't gone to the hospital.
i wish i never saw.
i wish i wasn't a part of this.
i wish i knew what to say.
or whether my head is whizzing all around
like one of those spinning tops we collected.
and i am tired of everything, but the swirling
mass of colour wont let me look away.
he is still holding on, i think.
but someone broke him & i don't have enough glue
to hold him together forever.
but then again, nothing is forever.
not even best friends.
i havent managed to sleep in three, four, five days
maybe because of the pills they gave me
to calm me down. not calm enough, though.
but now my body is somewhere else, and it can't
distract me from my mind.
thoughts of him lying there, all purple and still
are all i can remember right now,
like post-it notes attached to my eyeballs.
i wish i hadn't gone to the hospital.
i wish i never saw.
i wish i wasn't a part of this.
i wish i knew what to say.