(no subject)
I should be doing Calc hw right now but I am not. I am everwhelmed with emotions and feelings I have for so long tryed to forget and leave in the past. The best way I can describe what I feel is by saying this: someone is asking me to give up something that I have never really had. The feeling is so strange and wierd its almost like a bitter sweet souce. What I desire I can't have and what I dream about and strive to obtain I have to give up for my own sake. Basicly it sucks to be me.
I want to enjoy what I have and fully enbrace it but I also don't want to get hurt again. I don't expect anyone to understand bc I can bearly comprihend this myself, I just want to take it off my chest. Sometimes letting go of the ones who are dear to your heart is the only way of showing them how much you care. Maybe putting my heart on the line once again was the faital mistake, which I should have never made!
Maybe not saying anything and keeping quiet is my only salvation.
I want to enjoy what I have and fully enbrace it but I also don't want to get hurt again. I don't expect anyone to understand bc I can bearly comprihend this myself, I just want to take it off my chest. Sometimes letting go of the ones who are dear to your heart is the only way of showing them how much you care. Maybe putting my heart on the line once again was the faital mistake, which I should have never made!
Maybe not saying anything and keeping quiet is my only salvation.