(no subject)
i feel like i'm so close to freedom. so close to having all the strings that tie us together finally severed. i'm going to rent a u-haul saturday so i'll finally have the rest of my things home. it's going to be painful and of course i'm going to feel bad, but i just want this to be over with. i'm going to have some of my guy friends meet me at my house to help me move the heavy stuff. and then i'm going to rage until the break of dawn. god, please let all of this happen smoothly. if anything, just let this happen.
i've decided that i want to stay single as well. maybe forever. fuck boyfriends. fuck even wasting valuable time on anyone who might not be able to give me everything i want and deserve. i'm tired of compromising with people. i've gone from having hardly any standards to having impossible ones. i'm going to be a high maintence bitch because if i'm not, i'll just get trampled over as usual. i'm going to jazz it up and make them work for it for once. i'm tired of playing games. this is life and i really don't have time for anyone's bullshit.
i'm focusing on 4 things: myself, work, art, and finding a new apartment. i've already successfully planned out my budget for the next few months and i calculated that by at least may, i'll be able to get the fuck back into my own apartment. i just want my own space that i can make my own. and i want to live alone. so i can lock myself away and draw and paint and just simply do.
i'm tired. goodnight.