This is what I have to say
These were my last will and testament to a relationship that I want back wat she decides after reading what you are about to read is up to her I'm leaving for Iraq in July and need to know where everything is going in my life, so here is my lame excuse at an apology to the woman i love
"Megan,
After I send this message to you I leave what happens in your hands all I ask is u read it all. I love you more than anything in this world and never ever did I mean to scream at you and the minute we broke up all I could do was think about u and every night I spent thinking of you, I know that one weekend was sorta awkward and idk what else u want to call it but that was not what I wanted whenever I called you. Megan I am supposed to be 2 diff ppl right now, I am supposed to be the nice normal guy who is shy and tries to be a good person and then I also have to be the cold calculated killer that I need to be to survive in Iraq and I need to balance these things. At the age of 19 it is hard to balance 2 different egos (I'm not saying i have split personalities) I'm just saying that when I yell or get easily aggrivated its not cause im angry at u or that i hate u or dont love u anymore its just that im trying to find a middle point for that period of time and unfortunately something was said that just made me click, please please kno that I would never ever ever in my entire life ever hurt u and kno that if i ever did i would do 100 times worse to myself for doing something so stupid. Right now I probably sound like a psycho and u prolly could care less, or it could be totally diff from what I said but it doesnt matter cause I got most of what I wanted to say off my chest, what happens from here is up to you."
"Megan,
After I send this message to you I leave what happens in your hands all I ask is u read it all. I love you more than anything in this world and never ever did I mean to scream at you and the minute we broke up all I could do was think about u and every night I spent thinking of you, I know that one weekend was sorta awkward and idk what else u want to call it but that was not what I wanted whenever I called you. Megan I am supposed to be 2 diff ppl right now, I am supposed to be the nice normal guy who is shy and tries to be a good person and then I also have to be the cold calculated killer that I need to be to survive in Iraq and I need to balance these things. At the age of 19 it is hard to balance 2 different egos (I'm not saying i have split personalities) I'm just saying that when I yell or get easily aggrivated its not cause im angry at u or that i hate u or dont love u anymore its just that im trying to find a middle point for that period of time and unfortunately something was said that just made me click, please please kno that I would never ever ever in my entire life ever hurt u and kno that if i ever did i would do 100 times worse to myself for doing something so stupid. Right now I probably sound like a psycho and u prolly could care less, or it could be totally diff from what I said but it doesnt matter cause I got most of what I wanted to say off my chest, what happens from here is up to you."