arrrrrrr
Today in class, I learned that the reason most marriages or relationships come to an end has to do with the so called "fairytale" lifestyle that we somehow create in our minds, while in reality, there is no such thing. I can't say that I completely agree with that. To a certain extent I do, but then again I don't. Needless to say, if I would have been having an emotional moment at the time my teacher said that, I think I would have started crying. In fact, I think I did kind of swallow my heart. So for one reason or another, this got me thinking about how I am evaluating my life. I'm not sure exactly where I want to go in life. I'm not really sure what field I want to go into. I'm not sure what job I want to work for the rest of my life. I'm not sure if I want to get married, or have children, or do anything even remotely beneficial to society for that matter. I always try to have some form of plan that I want my life to follow. For the most part, it has been working out decently. Until now that is. Because right now, I am utterly and completley confused on which direction I want to go. COMPLETELY.
Maybe I do create a false setting in my mind. Maybe everything hasn't been as perfect as I thought it was before. Maybe I was just overlooking the things and words and actions that I didn't want to see, hear, or feel. In someways I do believe that. Or maybe everything is really perfect, and somehow I am thinking that it's not and creating a sense of confussion for no apparent reason. Good God..I think too much. Way way too much. Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't ever have fun because I think and worrry to much. Maybe you don't worry enough. In fact, I know you don't worry enough! I worry for you. About everything. Practically everything that goes on in your life I worry about! Because I know you won't! I know you don't mean what you say. You never do the things you say that you're going to. You can't ever follow through on anything.
Fucking Stupid Boy. I give up.
Note to Self: in the future, try not to think so much. :-/
Maybe I do create a false setting in my mind. Maybe everything hasn't been as perfect as I thought it was before. Maybe I was just overlooking the things and words and actions that I didn't want to see, hear, or feel. In someways I do believe that. Or maybe everything is really perfect, and somehow I am thinking that it's not and creating a sense of confussion for no apparent reason. Good God..I think too much. Way way too much. Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't ever have fun because I think and worrry to much. Maybe you don't worry enough. In fact, I know you don't worry enough! I worry for you. About everything. Practically everything that goes on in your life I worry about! Because I know you won't! I know you don't mean what you say. You never do the things you say that you're going to. You can't ever follow through on anything.
Fucking Stupid Boy. I give up.
Note to Self: in the future, try not to think so much. :-/