(no subject)
Every time something goes even slightly wrong with Dan I freak out and convince myself I'm going to stop seeing him. Even something as small as him not calling me back after work. I don't want to blow things out of proportion but I don't want to let my guard down either. I guess the thing is I'm really afraid of getting my heart fucking stepped on again like Matt did. But the bottom line is, not all men are Matt (thank fuck), and if I continue to take everything Dan does and hold it to the standards of what Matt did I'm only going to fuck this up for myself. Not to mention, it's completely unfair to Dan (or any other guy).
Even though it frustrates me because I definitely want a relationship with him, I know the fact that we haven't jumped into one yet is a good thing. I'm not ready for another long term serious thing. Plus Dan is five years older than me, and it still feels like kind of a lot, although I'm hoping that once I turn 21 that will change things. Taking this slow is a good thing. I'm just going to let this develop on its own and in the mean time enjoy the fact that this is the best feeling ever. Plus, I'm anxious to see how things are gonna be after I get back from Rome and not seeing each other for over a week.
This was pretty cheesy. But writing it out makes it seem clearer, or something.
On a side note.....
I LEAVE FOR ROME TOMORROW MORNING!
Even though it frustrates me because I definitely want a relationship with him, I know the fact that we haven't jumped into one yet is a good thing. I'm not ready for another long term serious thing. Plus Dan is five years older than me, and it still feels like kind of a lot, although I'm hoping that once I turn 21 that will change things. Taking this slow is a good thing. I'm just going to let this develop on its own and in the mean time enjoy the fact that this is the best feeling ever. Plus, I'm anxious to see how things are gonna be after I get back from Rome and not seeing each other for over a week.
This was pretty cheesy. But writing it out makes it seem clearer, or something.
On a side note.....
I LEAVE FOR ROME TOMORROW MORNING!