this is the last straw.
let's lay it all out.
let's lay it all out at four in the morning.
now i remember why i wanted rochester so badly.
and why i hated florida so much.
and why i never wanted to see another private school again.
and the thing is, i like it. and it's appealing. it's appealing with it's pretty architecture and it's cobblestone streets.
yea, it's pretty.
but the people haven't changed. they're the same people i went to elementary school and high school with.
they're the people that i knew i would never fit in with.
i am miserable.
and i really didn't want to be.
and i faked a smile, and put on my best dress, and went to the party.
and i made friends there.
and i made friends down the hall.
and i made friends up a floor or two.
and then you find people like marianne and kelli and courtney.
and you think, "fuck yea, we can live like this."
until you realize you are not anyone's top choice to live like this with.
but when was i EVER anyone's top choice?
i haven't been anyone's top choice in a REALLY long time.
which was fine for awhile because honestly, i needed to figure some stuff out.
but now here i am, alone.
alone with no one and i cannot, for the life of me, figure out why i remain no one's top choice.
and i still question every single day what the FUCK i ever did to you to make you HATE me so much.
and i miss people, i do.
i miss danielle.
and i miss cassie.
and i miss rachael.
but what's worse than that, is i miss knowing who my actual friends are.
because let's be honest: EVERYONE KNOWS WHO TALKS SHIT BEHIND YOUR BACK.
so why do we sit there and look the other way?
is it because we simply don't want to deal with the confrontation?
or is it because we don't have any respect for ourselves anyway?
some days the knife looks better than others.
always it is a bad idea.
and some nights you don't care what others think anymore.
so screw the bad idea and give me the knife.
nobdy reads this shit anyway.
and if you do it's because you're nosey.
think what you want, you aren't perfect either.
i think some people should lose their baggage before they critisize everyone else's.
i think others should make their own decisions and form their own opinions.
still, some should mind their own fucking business.
straight up though? you are not a nice person.
but then again, apparently i'm not either, right?
but you made me this way
so what does that make you?
and just so everyone's on the same page, don't even try to guess if any of this is about you. chances are it's not.
let's lay it all out at four in the morning.
now i remember why i wanted rochester so badly.
and why i hated florida so much.
and why i never wanted to see another private school again.
and the thing is, i like it. and it's appealing. it's appealing with it's pretty architecture and it's cobblestone streets.
yea, it's pretty.
but the people haven't changed. they're the same people i went to elementary school and high school with.
they're the people that i knew i would never fit in with.
i am miserable.
and i really didn't want to be.
and i faked a smile, and put on my best dress, and went to the party.
and i made friends there.
and i made friends down the hall.
and i made friends up a floor or two.
and then you find people like marianne and kelli and courtney.
and you think, "fuck yea, we can live like this."
until you realize you are not anyone's top choice to live like this with.
but when was i EVER anyone's top choice?
i haven't been anyone's top choice in a REALLY long time.
which was fine for awhile because honestly, i needed to figure some stuff out.
but now here i am, alone.
alone with no one and i cannot, for the life of me, figure out why i remain no one's top choice.
and i still question every single day what the FUCK i ever did to you to make you HATE me so much.
and i miss people, i do.
i miss danielle.
and i miss cassie.
and i miss rachael.
but what's worse than that, is i miss knowing who my actual friends are.
because let's be honest: EVERYONE KNOWS WHO TALKS SHIT BEHIND YOUR BACK.
so why do we sit there and look the other way?
is it because we simply don't want to deal with the confrontation?
or is it because we don't have any respect for ourselves anyway?
some days the knife looks better than others.
always it is a bad idea.
and some nights you don't care what others think anymore.
so screw the bad idea and give me the knife.
nobdy reads this shit anyway.
and if you do it's because you're nosey.
think what you want, you aren't perfect either.
i think some people should lose their baggage before they critisize everyone else's.
i think others should make their own decisions and form their own opinions.
still, some should mind their own fucking business.
straight up though? you are not a nice person.
but then again, apparently i'm not either, right?
but you made me this way
so what does that make you?
and just so everyone's on the same page, don't even try to guess if any of this is about you. chances are it's not.