friendship...i need that from you.

[_kiss_me_hardd]

"i think about you every second of everyday.  i think about you before i got to bed at night and wish you were there wih me.  i think about you when i wake up in the morning and i wish you were there with me...for the sole purpose of you being there with me...i need you.  i need you here with me.  come see me.  i need you olivia, i need you."

and it was everything i ever wanted to hear, and it was everything that can never happen.  and i was so okay, i really was.  completely over it and over you.  and when i told you over the phone i no longer liked you, i meant it.  and then suddenly, everything came back...all those feelings, everything.  and i hate you.  i hate you so much.  you treat me like shit on a usual basis.  you don't care about me.  and if you do, why are you like this with me?  it's not fair.

"he's bullshitting you and fucking with you on purpose.  fuck him."

and they're right...

and i'm so angry.  and i hate myself so much.  this is my fault.  it's not right.