This is going well...
Finally watched "Letters from Iwo Jima" thanks to my brother’s constant pestering and harassing me for a few days. XDD Of course I would have watched it eventually some time anyway. He has seen the film multiple times already himself, and I kind of found it funny that HE was the one trying to get ME to watch a Japanese film (featuring a guy from JE, btw. XDD)
I actually really hate war films and this one had me in tears, again. It was very poignant and well played, but I was yet again reminded of how much I hate wars. It's hard to give an actual opinion on whether I thought it was good or bad or whether I liked it or not. All I have is personal opinions and feelings concerning the events not the film as a whole. Tomorrow I was supposed to watch the whole Bourne trilogy together with my brother (he specifically stressed "together"), since he's such a Matt Damon fanboy (XDD) and really wants that I watch stuff he likes, though he makes an effort to hate stuff I like before trying to see what it is himself. In other words: he cares what I think, but doesn't care if I care what he thinks? Either way, it's not happening after the nice fight we just had, which began as a small argument with my brother first telling me that he doesn't see me anywhere doing anything(ooh… thanks for the support, bro!), but I should start by trying to be independent(because apparently according to him independence has solely to do with being financially independent... and that was coming from a person who is currently living with our parents had our mother pay his bus ticket) and it ended with my freakout, which was probably partly to do with the fact that I can’t stand it when people just don't GET how delusional they are and partly because of the hurtful things he ended up saying(not that he hadn’t said stuff before), which apparently in his defence was because I “had started it", by calling him stupid and an idiot. Granted, I did tell him that he seemed incapable of understanding common sense or anything at all (thus being stupid), but it is in no way comparable to calling someone a “pathetic excuse for a human being” and "shit" after acknowledging himself that I have problems and issues and might not exactly be normal (and instead of being supportive, telling me to "go and deal with them"), throwing the whole "socially inept" issue in my face, assuming that I'd die alone, since nobody wants me. Okay. I might not have the best social skills (which apparently my dear brother assumes I can just deal with all by myself just like I'm supposed to "deal with" all the other problems), but I'd never say such spiteful things even when I'm angry to anyone let alone my own brother. The blunt and honest truth can hurt, but sometimes you need it. Cruel words out of spite are by no means comparable to that. I've let my brother get away with A LOT, because he's my brother, and I don't think he'll ever learn even the hard way. But now there's no way I'm going to ever speak to him again, if he doesn't sincerely apologise. I've been emotionally hurt by my family members (actually just my Mum and brother), sometimes my mother has apologised, but my brother has NEVER, and now he's actually old enough to learn and know that sometimes people require it.
Hmm.. I feel better writing that down. During my freakout I felt so out of control, wanting to kill myself(yay.. again). There’s pretty much nothing my brother said that I don’t think is true anyway, but I guess it’s different when it comes from the person I'm supposed to be closest to... especially while feeling that some of the reasons why I DO think the stuff is true lie in the berating I’ve had to endure as a teenager and kid.
Whoo hoo! So much fun to start school next week! I remember I suffered from depression my first year, and no one gave a crap. I don’t want that anymore.
On a more positive note: I got the NEWS DVD! (Yes, I’m slow). Don't know when I'll have the time to watch it, though.
Okay... I might have watched a few parts.. like SNOW EXPRESS. I just LOVE that song. It WILL be on CD, because there's no way it couldn't. Darn it, it deserves it's own PV or something
I actually really hate war films and this one had me in tears, again. It was very poignant and well played, but I was yet again reminded of how much I hate wars. It's hard to give an actual opinion on whether I thought it was good or bad or whether I liked it or not. All I have is personal opinions and feelings concerning the events not the film as a whole. Tomorrow I was supposed to watch the whole Bourne trilogy together with my brother (he specifically stressed "together"), since he's such a Matt Damon fanboy (XDD) and really wants that I watch stuff he likes, though he makes an effort to hate stuff I like before trying to see what it is himself. In other words: he cares what I think, but doesn't care if I care what he thinks? Either way, it's not happening after the nice fight we just had, which began as a small argument with my brother first telling me that he doesn't see me anywhere doing anything(ooh… thanks for the support, bro!), but I should start by trying to be independent(because apparently according to him independence has solely to do with being financially independent... and that was coming from a person who is currently living with our parents had our mother pay his bus ticket) and it ended with my freakout, which was probably partly to do with the fact that I can’t stand it when people just don't GET how delusional they are and partly because of the hurtful things he ended up saying(not that he hadn’t said stuff before), which apparently in his defence was because I “had started it", by calling him stupid and an idiot. Granted, I did tell him that he seemed incapable of understanding common sense or anything at all (thus being stupid), but it is in no way comparable to calling someone a “pathetic excuse for a human being” and "shit" after acknowledging himself that I have problems and issues and might not exactly be normal (and instead of being supportive, telling me to "go and deal with them"), throwing the whole "socially inept" issue in my face, assuming that I'd die alone, since nobody wants me. Okay. I might not have the best social skills (which apparently my dear brother assumes I can just deal with all by myself just like I'm supposed to "deal with" all the other problems), but I'd never say such spiteful things even when I'm angry to anyone let alone my own brother. The blunt and honest truth can hurt, but sometimes you need it. Cruel words out of spite are by no means comparable to that. I've let my brother get away with A LOT, because he's my brother, and I don't think he'll ever learn even the hard way. But now there's no way I'm going to ever speak to him again, if he doesn't sincerely apologise. I've been emotionally hurt by my family members (actually just my Mum and brother), sometimes my mother has apologised, but my brother has NEVER, and now he's actually old enough to learn and know that sometimes people require it.
Hmm.. I feel better writing that down. During my freakout I felt so out of control, wanting to kill myself(yay.. again). There’s pretty much nothing my brother said that I don’t think is true anyway, but I guess it’s different when it comes from the person I'm supposed to be closest to... especially while feeling that some of the reasons why I DO think the stuff is true lie in the berating I’ve had to endure as a teenager and kid.
Whoo hoo! So much fun to start school next week! I remember I suffered from depression my first year, and no one gave a crap. I don’t want that anymore.
On a more positive note: I got the NEWS DVD! (Yes, I’m slow). Don't know when I'll have the time to watch it, though.
Okay... I might have watched a few parts.. like SNOW EXPRESS. I just LOVE that song. It WILL be on CD, because there's no way it couldn't. Darn it, it deserves it's own PV or something