(no subject)
Since nothing is coming out of the story I'm supposed to write for English (I ended up submitting a poem instead), I'm hanging on LJ and replying to a few comments that have been long due. Sorry. :(
I'm trying to do stress management, because my stress got so out of hand that it's been affecting my life even more than usual. Basically that means that I've been trying to concentrate on very little and do at least a little every day (and work a bit on managing stress). So far... I haven't been noticing much difference.
I've been getting sick all over again for the past few months and although I don't feel that bad at the moment I still wake up to a throat ache every morning and it sometimes hurts during the day. I'm too scared to start doing anything.. especially because it's so cold outside. And my hand rash... which turned into something really ugly... Dyshidrotic eczema. Very much likely stress induced. Now I'm actually capable of moving my fingers (it was fun when I couldn't write), but my skin is horribly scaly and it's really uncomfortable to touch certain surfaces... paper for example feels bad. I don't know how long it will last and there's really not much I can do (besides spend a lot of money on creams. Yay for the money spending)
My body has also been itching all over for a few weeks now. From head to toe. (Starting from my scalp, but my face is relatively itch free.. but has other problems) It's been awful. I get some relief from scratching and REALLY hot water. I take a hot shower every night before I go to bed. It's not like I can sleep that well anyway (and don't even remember what it's like to... actually get a good night's sleep), but at least it's not like the time, I DIDN'T take a shower and spent the whole night crying and wishing I could just sleep and the itch would stop. Basically... as soon as the stress goes... the itch will as well..
Unfortunately I seem to be in a bit of a cycle, since my whole situation stresses me on its own.. and stuff keeps on coming up. I have two tests next week.. (yay), my horrible quarter of a century birthday will be just stressing on its own and I keep on feeling guilty for skipping lessons. (the feeling of guilt is SO powerful)
But.
In short:
Physical reactions I have had to stress
-zits
-spinning head
-stomach ache (I have good medicine for this)
-head aches
-panic/anxiety attacks
-Dyshidrotic eczema
-recurring colds
-full body itch
And having them all simultaneously... Yeah... I have a good reason for stress management.
I do NOT want to go to a psychiatrist/doctor/whatever... because I have no faith in them. I've been let down too many times before. I know I can pretty much only deal with this myself.
I SUCK.